Week 13 - Feeling Lucky?

Turkey Day has come and gone, and after a total of 10 hours of sitting on the runway in Newark, NJ, being served overpriced juice and muffins by a guy wearing body glitter, buying a pair of headphones from a girl with a hickey in Salt Lake City, and having the small child in the seat in front of me crap his pants as we began our descent to Los Angeles, it was a day I'll long remember. Please excuse my lack of coherence - I've been up for 21 hours straight, and between listening to my brother snoring and Pink Floyd's The Wall, I'm feeling a tad bit loopy . My eyes must be playing tricks on me, because I'm pretty sure I saw Tony Romo throw for 5 TDs tonight, AND Larry Coker was fired by Miami. Crazy. I promise I'll elaborate more next week, but for now here are the quick picks from Los Angeles. By the way - Dear Bearcats, thanks for ruining it for everyone in the Big East. Sincerely the collective populations of New Jersey and West Virginia.

Last Week: 2-2-1
This Season: 28-30-2

Florida -9.5 FSU

What a crappy season for the 'Noles. I think Bobby Bowden wishes he was the one who was asked to leave the program instead of his son. $537,000 doesn't sound so bad when your team is just barely bowl eligible and staring down the barrel of a hot Gator team who could be playing for the national championship. No need to analyze this one too deeply - I like Florida here, though the potential for an "ap-tray" game exists. Regardless, I see Florida covering the spead. Best of luck to Jeff Bowden after this weekend. Maybe $537,000 can buy a copy of Bill Belichek's playbook.

Boise State -3 NEVADA

With a healthy Ian Johnson out of the hospital and in the backfield for the Broncos, Nevada should have their hands full in the season finale. Plus, who doesn't want to see Boise State in a bowl game not played on Smurf Turf? Break out the salsa, Boise State is headed to the Tostitos Fiesta Bowl after they cover the spread against Nevada.

FLORIDA ATLANTIC -4.5 FIU

The only thing standing between the Golden Panthers and a perfect season is the train wreck that is Florida Atlantic. That and the fact that FIU reinstated 13 players suspended since the Miami brawl. Let's hope that coach Don Strock doesn't try to inspire his troops with one of those hokey "win one for the lame duck coach" speeches. That is so cliche, but not as cliche as FIU not covering the spread. I'll take Florida Atlantic to cover the spread.

Oklahoma -5.5 OK STATE

This week it was revealed that the replay official who botched the call on the fumble recover during the Sooners - Ducks game earlier this season had known the whole time that the call was wrong, but replay rules prevented him from correcting on-field officials who made the wrong call. As you remember, possession was awarded to Oregon, even though it was clear to the replay official (and most of America outside of Oregon) that Oklahoma's Allen Patrick had recovered the ball during an onside kick. Well thanks for speaking up about it two months after the fact. This really helps . . . no one. I will say that it does concern me that the replay official (whose name is Gordon Riese and is our Maurice Clarett nominee this week) is still dwelling on this two months later. He quit his job as an official, has no plans to return to the replay booth, and is showing up places with mysterious cuts and bruises all over his body. If he starts calling himself Tyler Durden and selling soap, don't say I didn't warn you. Oklahoma, on the other hand, is anticipating the return of Adrian Peterson sometime this season. That in itself should be a big boost for the Sooners, who go into the Bedlam game with a shot at the Big XII title game (if Texas A&M cooperates). With or without Peterson, I like Oklahoma to cover the spread, and I'm hoping that Texas $hits the bed this weekend, just to give Oklahoma the shot at the BCS game they deserve.

USC -7.5 Notre Dame

I was at LAX this morning/afternoon and saw a 10-year old kid with a $hit-eating grin on his face because he had tickets to this game. He then struck up a conversation with someone who had evidently played for the Trojans a few years ago and had sideline passes, but wasn't sure if he was going to make it to the game. How do these people get tickets to the biggest game of the week and I stuck with tickets to Disneyland (true story by the way)? Let's just hope for the sake of my family that Mickey and Friends have at least one TV tuned to the Los Angeles Coliseum. Either that or once 5:00 pm (PST) rolls around, a certain member of the Lubarsky family may take ill and have to wait in the car with the radio on. Yeah, the chances of either of those happening without incident are about the same as Notre Dame's defense stopping "the Booty" and USC. This is the team that let Michigan and Michigan State run wild on them, not to mention giving up 52 points over the past three games to Army, Air Force, and North Carolina. Unless Brady Quinn can force USC's defense to give up more than their usual 14 points per game, it will be a long flight back to South Bend. As much as I can't stand seeing USC go back to the national championship, all the green jerseys in the world won't help the Irish this week. HOWEVER just because the Jeweled Shillelagh may once again belong to the Trojans, I'll take Notre Dame with the points.

Unitl next week . . .

Week 12 - Judgement Week!

After going 3-2 in a week full of upsets, I'm not feeling too upset about my less than stellar performance this season. Why? BECAUSE IT'S JUDGEMENT DAY! Yes, the game you've all been waiting for - Ohio State vs. Michigan. JUDGEMENT DAY! 3:30 pm, Saturday on ABC JUDGEMENT DAY!

You get the idea. I'm glad to see that this story is keeping pace with the magic leg of Joe Paterno. Will he walk? Will he coach from the sideline? Will he sit up in the press box? How will he manage to do that goofy half jog out of the tunnel with his players? Its a good thing a 6-4 Big 10 team has found a way to grab headlines - we wouldn't want people to focus on ranked teams outside of BCS conferences, now would we? I don't mean to come down too harsh on JoePa, but between he and Bobby Bowden (who is having a crappier year) can we start to focus on some teams with coaches who may not have been there forever but are still having great seasons? Jim Grobe at Wake Forest and Greg Schiano at Rutgers are two guys who should finally get some national attention for the seasons their respective teams are having. Anyway - I'll get off the soapbox.

Maurice Claret nominee of the week: University of North Texas. Mean Green booster Jim McIngvale told the school that they must rename their new athletic facility after the just-fired football coach Darrell Dickey or redirect McIngvale's $1 million gift to the music department. Dickey, who suffered a heart-attack three weeks before he was fired, started the season 2-7 with wins over FIU and Southern Methodist. McIngvale, known in Houston as "Mattress Mack," defended his ultimatum by saying, "I don't think firing a guy three weeks after he had a heart attack was the right thing to do. Even Wall Street is not that callous." That may be true, Jim, but Wall Street never had a football team start 2-7 either. On to the picks.

Last Week: 3-2
This Season: 26-28-1 (Just one good week away from being Bowl Eligible)

OHIO STATE -7 Michigan


We may as well start with the big one. As I mentioned earlier, I'm kind of sick of the hype surrounding this game. Yes, I know these teams hate each other, and yes I know that they haven't ever been 1-2 going into this game, and yes, I know this is only the third time in history that the Buckeyes and the Wolverines have met undefeated this late in the season. But honestly - I'm not sold. I know Michigan did a number on Notre Dame this season (which was likely due to the fact that the Irish really aren't that good - shhhh, don't tell NBC), and that Michigan's defense is allowing just over 12.1 points per game this season, but who have they played? Okay, Notre Dame is a top 10 team, and Wisconsin is having a very good year as well, but seriously - do either of them stack up to Ohio State? Not even close. As fun as it would be to see Michigan win this one, screw up the BCS and set up a rematch in the national championship which would piss everyone off , it just won't happen. Troy Smith, Antonio Pittman, Anthony Gonzalez, and Ted "the Terminator" Ginn will combine to pick apart the vaunted Michigan defense. And even if they don't, Ohio State's defense (allowing 2 touchdowns in a game only once this season) will more than pick up the slack. Plain and simple, the Buckeyes are like Jimmy Woods in "The Wizard" this season - they're playing on a whole different level, and on their way undefeated to the championship. Ohio State covers the spread. Damn, they're good. And I didn't even have to work in a "the pressure of this game is so intense that its literally killing Michigan coaches" joke. That would have been tasteless and I'm above that. Sure I am.

NC State -4 NORTH CAROLINA

ACC football! 3-7 NC State squares off against 1-9 North Carolina! Feel the excitement! I'm sure late-season matchups like this are exactly what commissioner John Swofford had in mind when he expanded the ACC into two divisions for football. Mercifully, student attention turns to UNC's basketball home opener this Sunday. At least the Tarheels end the season with a trip to 0-10 Duke. NC State covers the spread.

HAWAII -24 San Jose State

For those of you who haven't been paying attention this season, Colt Brennan of the Fighting Rainbow Warriors has thrown for 3753 yards and 43 TDs this season. This guy is firing more bullets than people trying to cut the line for a PS3. Since losing to undefeated Boise State, Brennan is averaging 5.14 TDs per game. Those are XBox-type numbers. San Jose State, on the other hand, is allowing less than 20 points per game - a far cry from Hawaii's 48+ points per game on offense. Even though the Spartans are 6-3 this season, and they almost upset 10-0 Boise State last week, I'm sensing a blowout in Honolulu. Aloha, SJSU. Hawaii covers the spread.

TEXAS TECH -6 Oklahoma State

OK State is taking one on the chin from Texas Tech. Think about it. The Red Raiders cover the spread.

USC -6 California

Trap game? I laugh in the face of trap games. Evidently Cal doesn't. After losing to Arizona last week, Cal pretty much ruined any hopes of a BCS championship bid. With a win over USC, they could at least grab an invite to a BCS bowl game, prove that they belong in a big bowl game, and throw a wrench into the rankings. Looking at this game on paper, John David Booty of USC and Nate Longshore of Cal match up pretty evenly. They each have thrown for about 20 TDs, they each have a 60% completion percentage and they each have pretty cool last names. The difference maker in this game will likely be the effectiveness of the running game. Cal has allowed only 13 more yards on average than USC over the last 5 games, however, the Bears have also given up 5 more rushing touchdowns in that span. As much as I'd love to see USC lose this game, I just can't see it happening. If Nate Longshore regains the form he showed against UCLA (20/24 - 266yards - 3 TDs) this should be the best game of the week. However, I don't see him rebounding against Pete Carroll and the Trojans. USC covers the spread. I really hope I'm wrong.

Check back next week for my Thanksgiving column from deep in Trojan territory for the USC-Notre Dame battle. Anyone with tickets, please forward them along to me.

Week 11 - Part 2

In the words of the co-founder of Half Jewish Sports, Jesse Martineau, "Holy Jeebus." Last night's Rutgers - Louisville game was one to remember for a long time, or at least until the collective elation from 50,000+ students and faculty gives way to the realization that they still have to beat West Virginia on the road to even have a shot at the National Championship. Until then, live it up, Scarlet Knights. You played one heckuva game last night. Just don't tell any of my Seton Hall classmates that I was rooting for Rutgers. The fact that Rutgers was nearly always the butt of jokes both in New Jersey and on my radio show (they were 1-11 my senior year) makes this such a "feel-good" story. That and the fact that by Rutgers winning, it totally screws up the BCS. I can't wait to see which Big East/SEC/Big XII/Pac-10 team makes a stink this year.

In more somber news, the University of Miami made headlines for a different reason this week as defensive lineman Bryan Pata was shot and killed on Tuesday night. As much as I joke about Miami being a bunch of thugs, this really shows how unimportant wins and losses can be to a team. I'll be rooting for the Canes this weekend to use this as a rallying point and make the most out of what has been the season from Hell. Plus I'd love to see Maryland take it on the chin.

Maurice Clarett Award nominee: Florida wide receiver Nyan Boateng who was stabbed in the leg by a female student during an argument this week. Please, you're a wide receiver, not a punter. Injuries like this are soooooooo last month. On to the picks.

Last Week: 0-5
This season: 23-26-1

0-5 is what happens when you claim that the odds for a game aren't listed when in fact the game is scheduled for the next week. My deepest apologies to the gambling gods who must have been offended enough to have me lose 2 games by .5 points. If I wasn't so psyched about correctly calling the Rutgers upset, I'd be calling in sick this week. Good times.

Cal -13.5 ARIZONA

Call it a hunch, but USC is no longer the dominant team in the Pac-10. This will be shown in the coming weeks when USC has to play Oregon, Cal, Notre Dame and an underrated UCLA team. Cal on the other hand is 6-0 in the conference, with their "trap" game this week against the Wildcats. I hate the term "trap" game. I get the argument that Cal might be focusing more on USC than on Arizona, or that they don't want to risk injuring their key players the week before a big game, but frankly I think its a load of bull. The fact of the matter is, if Cal wins out, beating two top ranked BCS opponents (Oregon and USC) with their only loss coming in week 1 to a strong Tennessee squad (we know, we know), they have a good shot at playing in the Rose Bowl. Depending on how other teams finish out, they could have a shot at the National Championship. My point is that Cal has been solid against stronger teams all season, and if last week's 3 TD, 0 INT performance from QB Nate Longshore is any indication, the Golden Bears should have little trouble picking apart Mike Stoops' defense this week. Cal covers the spread unless Big Brother Bob shows up to coach instead.

FRESNO ST. -11.5 New Mexico State

Um, yeah so I was looking over the games this week, and after realizing that NM State is 2-7 against the spread, and that Fresno State is 0-8 against the spread including a dismal 1-3 record at home, I figured that this game was the perfect storm (hey anything to get the gambling gods back on my good side, right?). How bad are these teams? New Mexico State is averaging 67.6 yards rushing per game. Fresno State is being outscored on average by more than 12 points per game. What’s the most telling stat here? The Bulldogs have allowed 11 passing touchdowns combined in their last three games, including 6 to Hawaii. New Mexico State just happens to have a QB in Chase Holbrook who has thrown for 3451 yards and 25 TDs this season. Good luck to Fresno State in trying to keep the Aggies out of the end zone this week. I'll take New Mexico State with the points and at least 2 passing touchdowns, please.

FLORIDA INTERNATIONAL -1 UL Monroe

In the second game of the Crappy Teams doubleheader, the winless Golden Panthers are actually favored at home against the Warhawks of University of Louisiana - Monroe. I'm seriously at a loss as to how bad two teams in the same conference can be. The downside is one of these teams is going home without a Sun Belt victory this year. The upside is . . . um I'm still looking for one. I'll take UL - Monroe with the points in this one. They might be bad, but FIU is just plain awful.

Boise State -14 SAN JOSE ST.

"Hi there, we're Boise State; you might remember us as the team with the blue turf, or the team that gets screwed out of a National Championship spot ever other year despite having a better record than almost every team in the country. In fact, we've only lost one in-conference game since 2002. More importantly, we're averaging 420+ yards per game, and our running back Ian Johnson has 20 TDs this season. Seriously, you haven't heard of him? That's weird; he has 17 fewer yards than that Rice guy from New Jersey, and 36 more than that Hart kid up in Ann Arbor. Well you must have heard of our line backer Korey Hall, right? No? Hmm - he has 6 interceptions this year, and he recovered a fumble too. Doesn't ring a bell? Well you've definately have heard of our quarterback Jared Zabransky. He has a 16:5 TD/INT ratio and he's top 12 in passing efficiency. Come on, his last name is Zabransky! Anyway, we're Boise State, we're undefeated too, and we're favored by 14 this week. We think we'll cover the spread.

FLORIDA -13 South Carolina

And you thought I was going to go an entire column without mentioning the return of the Ole Ball Coach to Gainesville, didn't you? Where to begin on this one? With Louisville losing last night, Florida will move up into the top 5 in the nation. Florida is on track to meet Either Arkansas (if they can survive the next 3 weeks) or Auburn in the SEC title game. The winner of that will likely get a shot at either Ohio State or Michigan in the national title game (sorry Big East/Pac-10 fans). HOWEVER, Steve Spurrier and the Gamecocks could muck all that up with a win in the Swamp, and don't think they don't know it. As much as Steve Spurrier made a name for himself with the Fun-n-Gun offense with Danny Wuerffel, don't think he wouldn't love to come back to Florida and play spoiler. And I think he can do it. Stories of Gators' QB Chris Leak playing with a concussion against Georgia were only intensified after he threw three picks against Vanderbilt last week. Combine that with the fact that Tim Tebow hasn't scored a touchdown since the loss to Georgia, and it looks like the Florida two-headed QB monster might be breaking down. Unless RB DeShawn Wynn can get things together against a South Carolina defense that only gives up 17 points per game, the game may very well rest on the dizzy and weary Chris Leak. South Carolina and the points are the best bet this week.

Until next week . . .

Week 11 - Part One

While I plan on posting a full column sometime between now and Friday afternoon, I wanted to post a mini column before tonight's Rutgers-Louisville game. I've seen Louisville favored by 6, and while I truly think Rutgers can win this one (or at least make it a close game), I'm vowing not to pick the game as one of my weekly picks. I will, however, take a cue from the Sons of Sam Horn and write a little "Win it For" column. I hope you enjoy it, and feel free to add your own in the comments section.

An open letter to the Scarlet Knights Football Team:

Win it for the students of Rutgers University, who take so much heat for going to "The State University of New Jersey."
Win it for the residents of New Brunswick whose claim to fame is Brunswick Lanes and bowling.
Win it for everyone in the New York City metro area who has finally realized that college football does exist in the region
Win it for Ramapo's own Coach Greg Schiano, who started his Rutgers coaching career with a 3-20 record before turning things around.
Win it for the 1869 football team, who played the first ever intercollegiate football game against Princeton, and had to wear scarlet-colored turbans and handkerchiefs to distinguish them as a team from the Princeton players.
Win it for Big East Commisioner Mike Tranghese, who has had to deal with losing Miami, Virginia Tech, and Boston College to the ACC, as well as defending his Conference from taunts of "the Big Easy."
Win it for University professor William C. Dowling who favored downgrading the school's football team to Division I-AA - on second thought, screw professors.
Win it for Governor Corzine because he has a beard and paid a bunch of money for tickets to the game tonight.
Win it for Old Queen's, the oldest building at Rutgers, not former governor Jim McGreevey.
Win it for the Grease Trucks who having been serving Fat Sandwiches since 1979
Win it for drunk Rutgers male students, who have been hooking up with Fat Girls since last call.
Win it for Sharon Fordham, Class of 1975 and CEO of WeightWatchers.
Win it for Rutgers and Real World Miami alumnae Ruthie Alcaide who may be the funniest drunk person I've ever seen on TV.
Win it for David DeJesus who is from both Rutgers, and Manalapan.
Win it for Tommy and Gina, who never backed down.
Win it for The Boss who made it big, but never forgot "My hometown."
Win it for the conductors of NJT who allow you to drink on the train.
Win it for John Taylor, inventor of the pork roll.
Win it for Dante and Randal.
Win it for Jason Vorhees who really terrorized Camp NoBeBoSco. Win it for the Jersey Devil in the Pine Barrens.
Win it for Anne's Ghost in Totowa.
Win it for Jimmy Hoffa, wherever he might be buried.
Win it for the 13 Bumps.
Win it for the Statue of Liberty who really lives in New Jersey.
Win it for Tony Soprano even if A.J. is too lazy to make the team at Rutgers.
Win it for Tillie
Win it for the residents of Midgetville
Win it for anyone who ever went "Down the Shore," eats Jersey Fresh corn or tomatoes, rides the PATH, knows the difference between the Turnpike or the Parkway, has never pumped their own gas (into their Camaro no less), has no problem with jug handles, and is just proud of being from the Dirty Jerz.
Last but not least, Win it for yourselves. Lord knows you're gonna get your asses handed to you in three weeks by the Mountaineers in Morgantown.

Week 10 - Getting Back to Basics

Sorry this week's article is late. I was napping during a meeting with T.O.

When I started doing this weekly "pick-em" thing 5 years ago for the World Famous Half-Jewish Sports radio show on WRGW (Thursdays from 4-6 only on GWRadio.com), I would pick some of the least interesting games (I probably even made up a few spreads for some games like Steven F. Austin vs. Sam Houston State) in the country. I almost always picked a MAC game - usually the Golden Flashes of Kent State. After going 2-3 for what seems like the 10th time this season, I'm going back to basics (though I'm staying away from the Mississippi Valley State Delta Devils game this week). GMAC Bowl, here we come!

One other quick note. I'd be remiss as both a Boston sports fan and GW alum if I didn't mention the passing of Red Auerbach, one of the all-time legends in Boston sports and the NBA. As many of you may know, I am an insane Red Sox fan (mostly due to my Mom's dad having no sons and passing along his love of the Sox to his daughter and grandsons), but my Dad's dad was quite the basketball junkie (he captained his WPA team to the league championship in the 1930's) and was as big a fan of the Celtics and Red as anyone I've ever met. Seeing Red on my way to classes twice a week, smoking his cigar before racquetball games always made me think of my grandfather (who had passed away after I started my freshman year) and my connections to home. Red will truly be missed by both GW and Celtic fans alike. Okay, enough of the sob story, Lee. Make us laugh already.

Maurice Clarett nominee of the week: The Southeastern Conference has told the University of South Carolina that they can only play a Gamecock crow during timeouts, after a score, before the game, during halftime and when the game ends. The Gamecock's trademark sound was used mostly to pump up the home crowd during key 3rd downs, defensive plays, and on fourth quarter drives. "We are certainly disappointed that we have to limit the Gamecock crow, as we know its a crowd favorite, but obviously we will comply with the Southeastern Conference rules and regulations," said Jeff Crane, the athletics marketing director. That really is too bad - I've always heard how much people from South Carolina love the sound of a Cock. On to the picks.

Last Week: 2-3
This Season: 23-21-1

Boston College -3½ WAKE FOREST

I was listening to an interview with BIG EAST Commissioner Mike Tranghese last night, and when the topic of BC was brought up, the Commish could not have sounded more dejected about losing BC to the ACC. However, he did note that the Eagles were having a great year and he's not sure why they are so underrated. I agree with him, which is why I'm a bit confused that BC is only favored by 3½ this week. I will agree that Wake Forest is having one of the most surprising years in college football (7-1, 3-1 ACC), but none of those 7 wins have come against teams over .500. Boston College on the other hand, has beaten two ranked teams already (Clemson and VA Tech), and has their sights set on a third. Led by QB Matt Ryan, the Eagles have outscored their opponents by an average of 12.5 points per game - not overly impressive until you consider the fact that BC has only given up 2 TDs in their past 4 games. This game is shaping up to be the poor man's Big East match up from last night. That must be a gut punch to the ACC. I can only imagine that having your big game of the year referred to as less exciting than a Big East contest must be the equivalent of your younger brother drinking you under the table - you never saw it coming, and while you're puking in the bushes he's taking pictures of you with his camera phone to post on Myspace. Not that anything like that has ever happened to me . . . I'm just saying. I'll take BC to cover the spread on this one.

Louisiana State -3½ TENNESSEE

This week, Tennessee athletic director Mike Hamilton articulated his displeasure as the scholars attending the University of Tennessee employed "embarrassing language" for the duration of a football contest which took place against the Crimson Tide of Alabama and asked said academics to use "good judgment" in voicing their support for the Volunteers football squad. Well &@#$ you, Mike Hamilton, and &@#$ LSU too! Tennessee takes the points and wins the &@#$ing game.

Ohio U. -6½ EASTERN MICHIGAN

Here it is, the big MAC face-off you've all been waiting for. The showdown in Ypsilanti. Evidently, there's this other Ohio team that has a shot of winning their conference title this year too. Outside of a 3 game slide this year, the Bobcats of Ohio have been dominating most teams they've played this season. On the other hand, Eastern Michigan is 1-7 and getting outscored by their opponents on average by 11 points a week. Not to mention, the Eagles leading rusher is also their QB. However, they do play in Ypsilanti, which is fun to say. Ohio should have no problem covering the spread in this one.

Central Michigan -18½ TEMPLE

High school football -- if you make the most of it and you play hard, and you practice, and you make an effort to be prepared, you can do well. If you don't, you get stuck at Temple. Central Michigan covers the spread.

I'm a little bummed about there being no posted spread on the UL - Monroe / FIU game. I mean these are two of the absolute worst teams in the nation. Seriously, you'd think that a game between teams with a combined 1-15 record would warrant a little action. Screw you gambling gods - you're forcing me to pick . . .

TEXAS TECH -16 Baylor

I really can't figure out the Red Raiders this season. They started off the year 3-1 after mauling SMU and SE Louisiana (neither of which are top tier programs), but were shut out for three quarters by a 1-8 Colorado squad. Baylor, on the other hand, is 4-5 and hasn't really had a "break-out" game this season. I'm really not sure what intrigues me about this game. Maybe it’s the fact that both teams came within a quarter of major upsets against ranked teams last week. Maybe I just needed another reason to make a "Red" reference this week. Nah, it’s probably the fact that Texas Tech had two players kicked off the team after they were arrested for burglary after “allegedly” stealing a laptop computer and an iPod (rumor has it they'll be transferring to UConn). Even though Baylor and Texas Tech are the two "other" Big 12 teams from Texas, I see this one shaping up to be a good game. I'll take Baylor with the points in this game.

Until next week . . .