Robert Wahlberg is tired of being known as, "You mean there's another Wahlberg brother?"

Silent isn't always deadly

Big blow to the blog this week. My computer is in the shop with a failed Hard Drive, so I'm forced to write from work. Never fear, I'm still passing a couple your way to enjoy. Oh, and by the way - if you plan on making egg salad on a 90 degree day, your kitchen will smell like farts. Just wanted to let you know.

Today during lunch I'm taking a walk outside of my office when I came across two blocks worth of movie trailers and filming equipment. Being the curious lad that I am, I stopped to see what movie was being filmed. As it turns out, the signs reserving the street were for a movie called "The Departed," a Martin Scorsese film which looks pretty cool (IMDB site ) and stars Matt Damon, Mark (and brother Robert) Wahlberg, Jack Nicholson, and Leonardo DiCraprio. I started wondering, If I bump into one of these guys during lunch at my deli, what is the proper protocol for saying hello? Is there a different greeting for the different levels of actor? For instance, upon seeing Matt Damon when you cross the street, do you simply nod, smile and be on your way? Does a Jack Nicholson-type warrant a, "Wow, I'm a big fan," reaction? And when you bump into Robert Wahlberg when ordering your sandwich, should you greet him with, "Oh, and Bob, I'd like fries with that too, please?" I'm not sure, but if I see any of them, I'll let you know.

My buddy Chris ran into Johnny Knoxville on his way back to the office today, and was telling me about it. This brought up a related question. Is it proper to run up to Knoxville, smash him over the head with something, and quickly yell, "I'm Johnny Knoxville - welcome to Jackass!" before running away? Do you think he almost expects to have crap hurled at him or people attempting stupid things in front of him every time he goes out in public? I know if I had seen him today, I probable would have run up to him, scarfed down my lunch, thrown it up into the bag, eaten it again and yelled the obligatory "Welcome to Jackass" line. It would have ruled.

Again, thoughts, comments, and questions are appreciated.

Squeezing out one before the day is done

And the award goes to . . .

So I'm at my desk today, and someone comes up to me and in a very quiet voice asks a question about the production of a book. Now the question was fairly straightforward, but what caught my attention was the manner in which he asked it. He kind of snuck up on me and in a real quiet voice asked his question - all stereotypical serial killer-like. This got me thinking, there are a bunch of people in my office that fit into what I’ll call the “modified high school superlative” category. You know what I'm talking about - you see it in your co-workers, your boss, the guy in the mailroom who listens to his walkman all day. People who make you stop and think, "I bet he/she would be a ____ if they weren't working here." Who knows, maybe they are. Anyways, here are the categories that I see in my office. Feel free to share your own.

Most Likely to . . .

Be a serial killer
Do soft-core porn on the side (long ponytail and all)
Have a bleeding ulcer (down to the requisite grimaces and guttural groans)
Throw their computer out the window - these people have a full on fight with their PC everyday. And lose.
Always look dressed up but never actually go anywhere - there's this guy who is really nice and everything, but on random days he'll wear a jacket and tie. He's not interviewing for jobs (not that I know of), but sits at his desk all day with this jacket and tie. I just don't get it.
Be sleeping with the majority of the office (this one I’ve heard exists everywhere - I've just never been in that half)

Which brings me to a side fart (hmmm . . . ) - do these "office relationships" really exist? I can only think of one co-worker I've ever been "involved" with and that was while in college. I know a lot of my co-workers joke around and flirt, but I can't think of one person who is dating or "involved" with a co-worker in my office. There are a few that definitely give off the "if you buy me a few drinks, I'll go home with you" vibe, but I've never encountered it firsthand. This may warrant investigation, strictly for the sake of knowledge.


That's all I have time for now - thanks for stopping by.