Bowl Week Part Three - A New Year of Games

12/29/2006

Ah yes, the final 15 games. As of last night (thanks, Rutgers) I'm 7-4-1, making me 40-39-3 for the season (over .500 again . . . finally!). After the New Year, I'll probably write a season recap, hand out some awards, and figure out something to do to keep myself busy until August. Without further delay . . .

Saturday, Dec. 30
MEINEKE CAR CARE BOWL
Boston College -7½ Navy

Last week, Jeff Jagodzinski was named the Gregory P. Barber and Family Head Football Coach at Boston College. I had no idea it was even possible to donate money towards a position. Could you imagine being the Charles S. Lyman Event Planner or the Amy E. and Eric J. Stevens Advertising Sales Exec? Seriously, BC, let's just stick to selling the naming rights of our buildings and stadiums for now on. Its bad enough we exploit our college atheletes, but now we're making money off of our coaching staff? That doesn't sound too Catholic to me. Then again, 647 yards from Navy doesn't sound like much of a passing game either. This year's Commander-in-Chief's Trophy winners just don't give me a "warm-and-fuzzy" feeling against Boston College, but then again, neither does a new head coach who previously served as the offensive coordinator for the 7-8 Packers (who were shut out twice this season). In the end, it comes down to your gut feeling, and since I'm from Boston, I'll take the Eagles to cover.

ALAMO BOWL
Texas -10½ Iowa

In what amounts to a home game for a team that came one 12-7 loss from playing in the Big XII Championship and likely a bid to play in the Fiests Bowl, the Alamo Bowl is a far fall for last year's National Champions. Instead, the Longhorns get Iowa, who was 2-6 in the Big 10 this year and ranks right up there with Minnesota as "teams who probably shouldn't have gotten bowl bids over Southern Methodist, Arkansas State, or Wyoming." Okay, probably not the case, but did a team with 2 conference wins have a good season? I didn't really think so either. Either way, the return of Colt McCoy won't bode well for the Hawkeyes who have lost 3 straight and face a team averaging nearly 37 points per game. As long as Jim Thorpe award winner Aaron Ross doesn't have any lingering effects from his car accident on December 21st, Iowa should have a great deal of trouble moving the ball on offense. Look for this game to rival the Rutgers-Kansas State debacle. Texas will cover the spread.

CHICK FIL-A (not the Peach) BOWL
Virginia Tech -2½ Georgia

Yes, Virginia Tech is the better team here, and yes they've beaten 2 out of 3 ranked teams they've played this season, but Georgia went 2-0 against Auburn and Georgia Tech to finish the season a solid 4-4 in the SEC, and they're playing a "road" game at the Georgia Dome. This game should be fun to watch considering Georgia's QB Matthew Stafford has a touchdown to interception ratio of 1:2 (yes, you read that right) and the Hokies have forced 16 picks this season. On the other hand, VA Tech QBs have been sacked 26 times, and the Dawgs top ranked defense has 30 sacks this season, including 7.5 from DE Charles Johnson. What does all this mean? I'd take the under in this game, and I'll also go with the home team even if they technically are the road team. Take Georgia with the points.

Sunday, Dec. 31

MPC COMPUTERS BOWL
Miami (FL) -3 Nevada

When told that his team would be facing a 6-6 Miami team in Idaho, Nevada coach Chris Ault said, "This is exciting news, this is a great opportunity to meet a school with a lot of football tradition. We are looking forward to the game." Translation: "We'd never have a shot in Hell to beat a team like Miami any other year, but after they went 6-6 with that brawl, and Coker was fired, we might have a shot at winning this game." This one should be a no-brainer with Coker on his way out giving the team that "win one for me or else I'll be under .500 for the first time ever at Miami" speech. However, Boise. Idaho (36 degrees) is slightly colder than Miami (80 degrees) in December. I'll still take Miami to cover the spread.

Monday, Jan. 1
COTTON BOWL
Auburn -2½ Nebraska

A good game all around. Two solid teams facing off on New Years Day in a big bowl game - well done BCS! Wait, this isn't a BCS game? Oh. nevermind. Nebraska has lost 3 of their 4 games to teams ranked in the top 10 this season. Auburn? They're number 10 in the country. Coincidence? Probably. What we do know is that great seats are still available - both Husker and Tiger fans are bummed about not playing for a national championship, and surprisingly no one wants to spend New Year's Eve in Dallas. Whether or not their fans tune in, I'm taking Auburn to win. Any team that can beat both Florida and LSU this year should have no problem with Nebraska.

OUTBACK BOWL
Tennessee - 4 Penn State

You know you're old when you've faced the opposing coach when he was a player and now you're squaring off against him again, this time as a head coach. As if Joe Pa needs another reminder of how old he is. I'm just glad that he's healed up and we get to enjoy watching his funny run across the field. The Vols had a solid year losing only to Florida, LSU (sound familiar), and Arkansas, while Penn State's big win came against . . . I guess they're still waiting for it. I don't see it happening here. I'm a bit perplexed as to how Tennessee DB "Inky" Johnson wound up in the Mayo Clinic after season-ending shoulder surgery, but if it was good enough for the late Gerald Ford, it must be good enough for Inky. I'll take the Vols to cover the spread.

CAPITAL ONE BOWL
Arkansas -1 Wisconsin

This is Wisconsin's chance to show everyone how good they are even though their schedule was rediculously easy. This is Arkansas' chance to show everyone that even though coach Nutt has little clue as to which QB will play most of the game, their passing game can still be effective. Florida tried the whole QB by committee thing and look where it got them. Okay, bad analogy. My point is . . . I don't really have a point. I haven't picked any Big 10 schools yet, and I won't start now. I'll take the Razorbacks to cover.

GATOR BOWL
West Virginia -7½ Georgia Tech

Still riding high on the Big East after Rutgers thumped K-State, I think West Virginia will prove that they belong in the top 10 in the nation with a win over the Yellowjackets. Unless GA Tech can slow down Steve Slaton, they will likely be playing catch-up most of the game. That wouldn't be too tough for the 'Jackets, that is if they had Reggie Ball calling the plays. Instead, Reggie will be spending New Years Day studying while Tech gets schooled. The Moutaineers should cover the spread.

ROSE BOWL
Michigan -1½ USC

"We're Michigan and USC, and we're mad that we can't play for the national championship. Grrrrr." I probably won't even watch this game - they might as well remane this the Overrated Bowl. Because I have to choose one of them, I'll take USC.

FIESTA BOWL
OKLAHOMA -7 Boise State














Adrian Peterson's gonna fight? Adrian Peterson's gonna fight! This game will be the argument against undefeated WAC teams getting a BCS bid. As much as I would love to see the Broncos finish the year without a loss and not in the top 5, it won't happen against Oklahoma. NFL scouts, I hope you're watching. The Sooners will cover against Boise State, and Adrian Peterson isn't the only guy to watch in this game (paging Paul Thompson).

Tuesday, Jan. 2
ORANGE BOWL
Louisville -11 Wake Forest

Let me get this straight, Louisville - the team that lost to The Greatest Story In College Football Part I, is now playing The Greatest Story In College Football Part II and is favored by 11? I don't think so. Sorry Louisville, I know you've been in like nine straight bowl games or something pseudo-impressive like that, and you have the number three offense in the nation this season (38.9 points) but honestly? You're Louisville. Get over yourselves. I'll take Wake Forest and their cast of Hollywood special effects and storybook endings with the points.

Wednesday, Jan. 3
SUGAR BOWL
LSU -7 Notre Dame

Find me a single Notre Dame fan who thinks they have an chance in this one. Seriously, I'l wait . . .

. . . they're probably the same fan who is still waiting for Brady Quinn to have his "breakout game" this season. Don't get me wrong, but against the four toughest teams on the Fighting Irish's schedule (Michigan, Michigan State, USC and UCLA) Quinn didn't have a completion percentage above 60%. Again, not necessarily bad, but not good enough to cut it against LSU and JaMarcus Russell. Even if Quinn manages to step out of the shadow of being A.J. Hawk's brother-in-law, Notre Dame's defense just hasn't been solid enough this season to stop the Tigers. As good as this one looks on paper (Quinn vs. Russell) the defense battle is more one-sided than the Boise State - Oklahoma matchup, and look how that one ended . . . Uh, yeah, I'll take LSU to cover.

Saturday, Jan. 6
INTERNATIONAL BOWL
Cincinnati -9 Western Michigan

Sunday, Jan. 7
GMAC BOWL
SO Mississippi -6½ Ohio

Just because you're so Mississippi doesn't mean you're so good. Yeah, I know, bad joke, but with this game, does anyone really even care? I'll take Ohio and the points

Monday, Jan. 8
TOSTITOS (or as my girlfriend calls them Toasted O's) NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP
THE Ohio State University -8 Florida

Like there was much choice in this one. My apologies to my cousin Erin.I'll take the Buckeyes.

Bowl Week Part II - Everything Santa Didn't Bring Me

After 2 blowout bowl games, I'm 1-1, putting me at 34-36-2 for the season. Technically, I'm not bowl eligible, but neither is GA Tech QB Reggie Ball, so I'll take my chances. Forget the chit-chat, I'll pick up right where I left off - with mediocrity! These picks should tide you over until New Year's. Or until I'm bored again next week - whichever comes first.

Tuesday, Dec. 26
Motor City Bowl
CENTRAL MICHIGAN -11½ Middle Tenn St

This year, the Detroit Bowl features the MAC Champion Chippewas and the Sun Belt Co-champion Blue Raiders of MTSU. Um, yeah. Pretty exciting stuff. Here's my question - since this game is obviously not tops on anyone's "to watch list" and Detroit is not tops on the "to visit" list, why not spice this game up and invite Ted Nugent to perform at halftime? There's no way I wouldn't tune in to at least part of the game to see the Nuge perform, and possibly take someone out with a high-powered rifle or a bow and arrow. Who's with me here? Anyhow, MTSU features a relentless defense but no passing game, and I don't think CMU will have too much difficulty finding open receivers (five have 5+ TDs this season). I'll take Central Michigan to cover in this one.


Wednesday, Dec. 27
Emerald Bowl
UCLA -4½ Florida State

Me (to an FSU alum in my office): So what do you think about Florida State's chances in the Emeral Nut Bowl?

Her: What's with all these stupid bowls? Seriously, they don't even deserve to go to a bowl game. I'm done with them this season. They'd better step it up next season or I'm buying Rutgers season tickets.

When you're willing to abandon your alma mater for Rutgers, you know your team had a bad season. I'll take UCLA in this one.

Thursday, Dec. 28
Independence Bowl
Oklahoma State -3 Alabama

6-6 Alabama square off against 6-6 Oklahoma State - its the SEC and the Big XII only on ESPN! I could go in so many different directions with this one. If a big-name program without a coach plays a bowl game in Shreveport at 4:30pm on a Friday, will they make a sound? Will anyone outside of Alabam or Oklahoma watch it? I'd like to say yes to both, but since I don't have ESPN HD at work, and I'm not at "degenerate gambler" level yet, I'll have to say no. How does Alabama get motivated for this one? "Well guys, let's look at it this way, if we go 6-7 this season its still better than that time our coach got caught at the nudie bar, right?" Even if Alabama's offense will be run by their defensive coordinator, I still think they'll fare well against the Cowboy's defense (giving up an average of 30.8 points per game over their last 9 games). Aside from an upset win over Nebraska, Oklahoma State really hasn't impressed that much this season. I'll take Alabama with the points this week.

Texas Bowl
Rutgers -7 Kansas State

When the biggest storyline from this game is whether or not New Jersey residents will be able to watch the game on the NFL Network, you know the analysts are scraping the bottom of the barrel for something to talk about. Not me though. I've been watching the Scarlet Knights all season, following their stats, reading post-game interviews and reports, and I can honestly say that . . . hmmm. They're wildly inconsistent? After starting the season 9-0, they lost 2 of 3 to end the season tied for 3rd in the Big East. I'd like to say that Ray Rice, Brian Leonard and QB Mike Teel are the strongest trio to come out of New Jersey since the Fugees, but as solid as Rice has been, Teel has been as shaky. I think this game will hinge on whether Mike Teel can play like he did against Navy (215 yards, 3 TDs) and not like he did against Ohio (83 yards, 3 INTs). As long as Teel can complete enough passes to keep the Wildcat defense from effectively focusing on the run (which they have had trouble with all season), Rutgers should have no problem winning and winning big. I'll take the State University of New Jersey to cover the spread.

Holiday Bowl
CALIFORNIA -5 Texas A&m

Remember when Cal lost to Tennessee and it became the defining loss of their season, Nate Longshore played with a chip on his shoulder and Cal won 8 in a row? And then they lost to Arizona and USC in consecutive weeks and ended up playing in the Holiday Bowl instead of the Sun or Rose Bowl? Good times, good times. I really don't have too much to say about this game other than I think A & M beating Texas was a bit flukey, as was Cal losing to Arizona. I'll stick with Cal in this game, even though I'm sure it will be a lot closer than expected.

Friday, Dec. 29
Liberty Bowl
SOUTH CAROLINA -6½ Houston U

Man, I hate Tom Penders. Yes, I know he doesn't coach the football team, but I don't care. I'll take the Ole Ball Coach and the Cocks to cover against Houston.

Gaylord Hotels Music City Bowl
Clemson -11 Kentucky

This game was a lot easier to call before Clemson CB Duane Coleman was arrested for pot possession this week putting his status for the game in jeopardy, and earning him Maurice Clarett award nominee status. Duane, what were you thinking? You go to Clemson, not Miami! I know both teams wear orange, but that's no excuse for getting caught with weed a week before the bowl game. This is Coleman's second suspension from the team (the first in was in 2005 for whining too much - seriously). Clemson lost 3 of 4 to end the season, and though they're giving up just over 15 points per game with Coleman, I'm not sure they'll do much worse without him. I'll take Clemson to cover the spread here; Kentucky's passing game just won't be able to overcome the Tigers' defense.


Sun Bowl
Oregon State -3 Missouri

Oregon State's running back is named Yvenson Bernard. What a cool name, Yvenson. And he's not even from Norway or Sweden or one of those World's Strongest Man Competition places. I'll take Yvenson and the Beavers to cover the spread.

Champs Sports Bowl
Maryland -3½ Purdue

Maryland has been tough to read all season. Their only real quality win was a 1 point victory over Clemson, and they've lost all four games to ranked opponents. Purdue lost to 4 ranked opponents as well this season, and had the luxury of being in the Big Ten (11) and not playing Ohio State or Michigan this season. Yes, both teams had rough schedules, but neither one was overly impressive at any point. The edge here goes to Maryland just because the Boilermakers are 1-5 in their last 6 bowl appearences and Maryland has given up only 10 points in their last two. I'm going with the Terps even though my GW roots tell me otherwise.

Insight Bowl
Texas Tech -7½ Minnesota U

It isn't games like Florida - Ohio State with USC on the outside looking in that make me hate the BCS. Its games like this one - teams such as Minnesota who were absolutely dreadful (3-5) in conference this year and won 2 of their games against cupcakes like Temple and North Dakota State, and 2 more against Kent State (6-6) and Indiana (5-7). Those games accounted for 67% of the Golden Gophers' wins. I can't wait to see Red Raiders QB Graham Harrell light up Minnesota's defense for 600 yards passing. After putting up 519 against Texas and 483 against Baylor it could certainly happen, and I hope it does. Why does this make me so upset? I have no idea, but it might have something to do with a mascot camp incident involving Goldie the Gopher. Don't ask. I'm going with Texas Tech to cover.

Until next week . . .

Bowl Season is upon us!

The days are getting shorter, the shopping days are getting fewer, and the reasons to fire Isiah Thomas are piling up. Must mean only one thing - the holidays have arrived! And what better gift to all of us already tired of BCS talk and complaints from teams that feel left out than more college football! As always, I'll be picking the winner of each and every bowl game, though some of them won't get the full treatment (you can decide if that is a good thing or a bad thing). Cut me some slack - its Hanukkah, I'm in the middle of finals, and I have that thing from 9am - 5pm every day. Work, I think they call it. Teams in bold are my picks. Anyhow, here's how I see the first week of games shaping up:


Tuesday, Dec. 19
POINSETTIA BOWL - San Diego, CA
Texas Christian -12 Northern Illinois

TCU is ranked and 10-2 this season. NIU went 7-5 in the MAC. However, Garrett Wolfe of the Huskies rushed for an NCAA leading 1900 yards rushing, and it would be pretty cool to see him break the single season record for rushing. He only needs 729 against the Horned Frogs. I don't see it happening, and I also don't see TCU winning by less than a pair of TDs. I'm taking Texas Christian to cover.

Thursday, Dec. 21
LAS VEGAS BOWL - Las Vegas, NV
Brigham Young -3 Oregon

This game was already written up in TV Guide this week. Here's what it said.

Las Vegas Bowl (Comedy) - A wacky bunch of Mormons find themselves far from home as their Mission takes back them to Sin City for the second straight year. Also starring Oregon as the unlucky losers of three straight games.

As much as it pains me to pick against BYU in Vegas for a second straight year, could Oregon really lose four games in a row? I don't think so. I'll take the Ducks to beat the spread. I'm sure they'll unveil some crazy zebra-striped uniform for the game. Phil Knight and Nike won't let me down.

Friday, Dec. 22
NEW ORLEANS BOWL - New Orleans, LA
Rice -4½ Troy

Uh, there's a team called Rice? Sounds good to me. Might as well take the over on this one too. Just a hunch.

Saturday, Dec. 23
PAPAJOHNS.COM BOWL - Birmingham, AL
South Florida -4½ East Carolina

Yes! A battle of directional schools! I'm most intrigued by South Florida's WR - Taurus Johnson. See, South Florida are the Bulls, and Taurus is a bull. See how that works out? Pretty neat huh? Its a good thing Taurus' parents didn't name him Hootie. Then he'd be a sexist and probably wouldn't let himself play at Augusta National. You thought I was going to make a "He'd have to play for Temple because they're the Owls" joke, didn't you. I totally went in another direction on that one! South Florida covers.

NEW MEXICO BOWL - Albuquerque, NM
NEW MEXICO -3½ San Jose State

Home field advantage, blah, blah, blah. If home field was such an advantage, why did the Lobos go 2-4 there this year? SDSU is 8-3 against the spread this season - one of the better marks in the country. Yes, they're tied for third place in the WAC, but there is something to be said about a barely eligible bowl team playing at home. I'm not sure what it is, but there is something to be said. I'll take the Spartans with the points.

ARMED FORCES BOWL - Fort Worth, TX
Utah -1 Tulsa

Nothing says "We Support Our Troops" quite like 7-5 Utah taking on 8-4 Tulsa. I'm sure our servicemen and women in Iraq are looking forward to waking up at 4:00am on Sunday the 24th, cracking open a cold one, and enjoying the offensive powerhouse that is Utah's leading rusher Darryl Poston (546 yards, 5 TDs)
. Tulsa on the other hand had three straight losses before beating up on Tulane to end the season. This one should be, um, fun to watch. I'll take Tulsa with the points because you can't spell Tulsa without USA!


Sunday, Dec. 24
HAWAII BOWL - Honolulu, HI
HAWAII -7 Arizona State

Colt Brennan's last shot at the single-season TD record + ASU giving up 21 or more points seven times this season + Hawaii playing in a virtual home game = an early Christmas gift for the Rainbow Warriors. See, Mrs. Falkoff, I am good at math. With 2 completions, 199 yards and 2 TDs, Brennan would set records for passes completed (374 by David Klingler in 1990) passing yards (5188 by Ty Detmer in 1990) and TDs (Klingler 1990) in a season. In addition, his passer rating of 182.80 is already tops all time. On the other side of the field, ASU is losing their coach after the game, so they have that going for them . . . which is nice. I'll take Hawaii and the Lazer from Laguna Beach to cover the spread.

For more on the post-Christmas games, check back later on this week . . .

Week um . . . there are no games this week

So its that funny week where there are no games because Bowl Games haven't quites started yet. I may as well take this time to let everyone know that yes, I will be picking all of the Bowl Games - who isn't excited to read about the GMAC Bowl?

Last Week: 2-3
This Season: 33-35-2

In College Football news, America's Sweetheart Brady Quinn won the Maxwell Award as the top player in the nation, and Troy Smith took home the Davey O'Brien Award as the nation's top QB. Um, Awards people, Troy Smith and Brady Quinn are both quarterbacks. Does this mean that Troy Smith is better at QB than Brady Quinn, but Brady is better at playing than Troy Smith? This is so confusing.

More later . . .

Week 14 - Championship Week

Here we are after 13 weeks, and wouldn't you know it, my record stands at a nearly even 31-32-2. Quite the poor showing on my part this season. I've made some stupid mistakes, pulled a few picks out of nowhere, and generally slid by for most of the year - just like Notre Dame! This week we have three conference championship games on the schedule, plus the MAC championship last night. Not to mention the (trap) game for USC this week. I'm hoping to pull myself over .500 for the year, and rumor has it that if I do, I'll be penciled in for the Rose Bowl - just don't tell LSU fans that.

Maurice Clarett award nominee(s): Wisconsin cornerback Jack Ikegwuonu and his twin brother, Northern Illinois safety William Ikegwuonu who were arrested after stealing an XBox from someone's apartment. This sounds like something Law and Order would "rip from the headlines." How dumb are these guys? First of all, if it had only been one of them who stole the XBox, they could have at least blamed it on the other one and there would be no way the prosecutor could get charges to stick. Not to mention, both of their teams are going to bowl games this season (Wisconsin to the Capital One Bowl and Northern Illinois to the Poinsettia Bowl. Do these guys realize that each bowl game gives out a "goody bag?" Last year, the Poinsettia Bowl participants got the following:
• 4 GB iPod Mini
• $15 music gift certificate
• Fossil watch
• Commemorative sweatshirt, t-shirt and hat

The Capital One Bowl participants got:
• Medallion Quartz watch with bowl logo
• Sony camcorder
• Commemorative beach towel

I guess it makes sense then to steal an XBox - only the BCS games give away Sony PSP's and stuff like that.

On to the picks . . .

Last Week: 3-2
This Season: 31-32-2


Florida -2.5 Arkansas

For the SEC Championship, #4 Florida (11-1) hosts #8 Arkansas (10-2). Neither of these teams has been overly impressive this year, but if Florida wins (and USC loses) they could be a long shot go to the BCS Championship game. Not to mention, Florida could clinch their first SEC Championship in six years. This match up will hinge on Florida's ability to stop the rushing game of Darren McFadden and the Razorbacks. The good news is that the Gators give up less than 70 yards rushing per game and are holding opponents to just over 12 points per game. This puts way to much pressure on Arkansas' QB Casey Dick and coach Houston Nutt, and as we saw last week, there was a disconnect between Dick and Nutt. I can't believe I just wrote that. Could this be the year that Florida returns to greatness and fans finally let go of the days of the Ole Ball Coach? I think it is. Florida covers the spread and heads to a BCS game.

WEST VIRGINIA -9.5 Rutgers

Remember when this was an important game with national championship implications? Yeah, those were the days. Now the winner of this game goes to the Sun Bowl or the Texas Bowl at best, with an outside shot at the Gator Bowl. Remember when I said the Big East was the tough conference and a force to be reckoned with? Yeah, me neither. In what should still be a very good game, I see Rutgers falling short in Morgantown. I'll take the Mountaineers to cover the spread.

USC - 13.5 Ucla

My brother interns for a morning radio show in Los Angeles, and this morning they had cheerleaders and the band from USC and the mascot and some cheerleaders from UCLA. He said that the USC girls were far better looking. For that reason alone I'm taking USC to cover the spread. So what if they only know how to play one song?

HAWAII -8.5 Oregon State

This game really isn't all that exciting. Hawaii plays all of their games too late for most East Coasters to watch, they won't win their conference since they lost to 12-0 Boise State, and they won't play in a bowl game outside of their time zone. So why would I pick it? The fact of the matter is, Hawaii QB Colt Brennan has been a TD machine this season throwing for 51 and rushing for another 5. He is currently 4 TDs shy of breaking David Klingler's single season record. If he can get around the Oregon State pass defense this week, he should have no problem winning the game and breaking the record before the Hawaii Bowl. I like the Warriors' chances this week, and I'll take Hawaii to cover the spread.

Oklahoma -3.5 Nebraska

Surprise, surprise - the Vince Young-less Longhorns lost to Texas A&M, giving Oklahoma a shot at the Big XII Championship. Not to rub it in for Sooner fans, but if things had gone correctly against Oregon, and Florida/USC/Michigan weren't so strong, and Adrian Peterson hadn't broken his collarbone . . . well, you get the idea. The bad news for Oklahoma is that Peterson is still a week away from returning to action. The good news is that Allen Patrick is averaging more than 110 yards per game as Peterson's replacement, which is only 10 less than Peterson's average of 120.6 . Nebraska is giving up more than 125 rushing yards per game, and unless things change drastically this week, their offense will have to pick up the slack. For a team that has scored less than 21 points only twice this season, the Huskers' offense should be up to the challenge. Unfortunately for them, I see Rufu Alexander and Zach Latimer (168 tackles, 4 sacks, 20.5 tackles for a loss) more than ready to put the sticks to Nebraska, or some sort of football term like that. I'll take Oklahoma to cover the spread this week.

Until next week . . .

Week 13 - Feeling Lucky?

Turkey Day has come and gone, and after a total of 10 hours of sitting on the runway in Newark, NJ, being served overpriced juice and muffins by a guy wearing body glitter, buying a pair of headphones from a girl with a hickey in Salt Lake City, and having the small child in the seat in front of me crap his pants as we began our descent to Los Angeles, it was a day I'll long remember. Please excuse my lack of coherence - I've been up for 21 hours straight, and between listening to my brother snoring and Pink Floyd's The Wall, I'm feeling a tad bit loopy . My eyes must be playing tricks on me, because I'm pretty sure I saw Tony Romo throw for 5 TDs tonight, AND Larry Coker was fired by Miami. Crazy. I promise I'll elaborate more next week, but for now here are the quick picks from Los Angeles. By the way - Dear Bearcats, thanks for ruining it for everyone in the Big East. Sincerely the collective populations of New Jersey and West Virginia.

Last Week: 2-2-1
This Season: 28-30-2

Florida -9.5 FSU

What a crappy season for the 'Noles. I think Bobby Bowden wishes he was the one who was asked to leave the program instead of his son. $537,000 doesn't sound so bad when your team is just barely bowl eligible and staring down the barrel of a hot Gator team who could be playing for the national championship. No need to analyze this one too deeply - I like Florida here, though the potential for an "ap-tray" game exists. Regardless, I see Florida covering the spead. Best of luck to Jeff Bowden after this weekend. Maybe $537,000 can buy a copy of Bill Belichek's playbook.

Boise State -3 NEVADA

With a healthy Ian Johnson out of the hospital and in the backfield for the Broncos, Nevada should have their hands full in the season finale. Plus, who doesn't want to see Boise State in a bowl game not played on Smurf Turf? Break out the salsa, Boise State is headed to the Tostitos Fiesta Bowl after they cover the spread against Nevada.

FLORIDA ATLANTIC -4.5 FIU

The only thing standing between the Golden Panthers and a perfect season is the train wreck that is Florida Atlantic. That and the fact that FIU reinstated 13 players suspended since the Miami brawl. Let's hope that coach Don Strock doesn't try to inspire his troops with one of those hokey "win one for the lame duck coach" speeches. That is so cliche, but not as cliche as FIU not covering the spread. I'll take Florida Atlantic to cover the spread.

Oklahoma -5.5 OK STATE

This week it was revealed that the replay official who botched the call on the fumble recover during the Sooners - Ducks game earlier this season had known the whole time that the call was wrong, but replay rules prevented him from correcting on-field officials who made the wrong call. As you remember, possession was awarded to Oregon, even though it was clear to the replay official (and most of America outside of Oregon) that Oklahoma's Allen Patrick had recovered the ball during an onside kick. Well thanks for speaking up about it two months after the fact. This really helps . . . no one. I will say that it does concern me that the replay official (whose name is Gordon Riese and is our Maurice Clarett nominee this week) is still dwelling on this two months later. He quit his job as an official, has no plans to return to the replay booth, and is showing up places with mysterious cuts and bruises all over his body. If he starts calling himself Tyler Durden and selling soap, don't say I didn't warn you. Oklahoma, on the other hand, is anticipating the return of Adrian Peterson sometime this season. That in itself should be a big boost for the Sooners, who go into the Bedlam game with a shot at the Big XII title game (if Texas A&M cooperates). With or without Peterson, I like Oklahoma to cover the spread, and I'm hoping that Texas $hits the bed this weekend, just to give Oklahoma the shot at the BCS game they deserve.

USC -7.5 Notre Dame

I was at LAX this morning/afternoon and saw a 10-year old kid with a $hit-eating grin on his face because he had tickets to this game. He then struck up a conversation with someone who had evidently played for the Trojans a few years ago and had sideline passes, but wasn't sure if he was going to make it to the game. How do these people get tickets to the biggest game of the week and I stuck with tickets to Disneyland (true story by the way)? Let's just hope for the sake of my family that Mickey and Friends have at least one TV tuned to the Los Angeles Coliseum. Either that or once 5:00 pm (PST) rolls around, a certain member of the Lubarsky family may take ill and have to wait in the car with the radio on. Yeah, the chances of either of those happening without incident are about the same as Notre Dame's defense stopping "the Booty" and USC. This is the team that let Michigan and Michigan State run wild on them, not to mention giving up 52 points over the past three games to Army, Air Force, and North Carolina. Unless Brady Quinn can force USC's defense to give up more than their usual 14 points per game, it will be a long flight back to South Bend. As much as I can't stand seeing USC go back to the national championship, all the green jerseys in the world won't help the Irish this week. HOWEVER just because the Jeweled Shillelagh may once again belong to the Trojans, I'll take Notre Dame with the points.

Unitl next week . . .

Week 12 - Judgement Week!

After going 3-2 in a week full of upsets, I'm not feeling too upset about my less than stellar performance this season. Why? BECAUSE IT'S JUDGEMENT DAY! Yes, the game you've all been waiting for - Ohio State vs. Michigan. JUDGEMENT DAY! 3:30 pm, Saturday on ABC JUDGEMENT DAY!

You get the idea. I'm glad to see that this story is keeping pace with the magic leg of Joe Paterno. Will he walk? Will he coach from the sideline? Will he sit up in the press box? How will he manage to do that goofy half jog out of the tunnel with his players? Its a good thing a 6-4 Big 10 team has found a way to grab headlines - we wouldn't want people to focus on ranked teams outside of BCS conferences, now would we? I don't mean to come down too harsh on JoePa, but between he and Bobby Bowden (who is having a crappier year) can we start to focus on some teams with coaches who may not have been there forever but are still having great seasons? Jim Grobe at Wake Forest and Greg Schiano at Rutgers are two guys who should finally get some national attention for the seasons their respective teams are having. Anyway - I'll get off the soapbox.

Maurice Claret nominee of the week: University of North Texas. Mean Green booster Jim McIngvale told the school that they must rename their new athletic facility after the just-fired football coach Darrell Dickey or redirect McIngvale's $1 million gift to the music department. Dickey, who suffered a heart-attack three weeks before he was fired, started the season 2-7 with wins over FIU and Southern Methodist. McIngvale, known in Houston as "Mattress Mack," defended his ultimatum by saying, "I don't think firing a guy three weeks after he had a heart attack was the right thing to do. Even Wall Street is not that callous." That may be true, Jim, but Wall Street never had a football team start 2-7 either. On to the picks.

Last Week: 3-2
This Season: 26-28-1 (Just one good week away from being Bowl Eligible)

OHIO STATE -7 Michigan


We may as well start with the big one. As I mentioned earlier, I'm kind of sick of the hype surrounding this game. Yes, I know these teams hate each other, and yes I know that they haven't ever been 1-2 going into this game, and yes, I know this is only the third time in history that the Buckeyes and the Wolverines have met undefeated this late in the season. But honestly - I'm not sold. I know Michigan did a number on Notre Dame this season (which was likely due to the fact that the Irish really aren't that good - shhhh, don't tell NBC), and that Michigan's defense is allowing just over 12.1 points per game this season, but who have they played? Okay, Notre Dame is a top 10 team, and Wisconsin is having a very good year as well, but seriously - do either of them stack up to Ohio State? Not even close. As fun as it would be to see Michigan win this one, screw up the BCS and set up a rematch in the national championship which would piss everyone off , it just won't happen. Troy Smith, Antonio Pittman, Anthony Gonzalez, and Ted "the Terminator" Ginn will combine to pick apart the vaunted Michigan defense. And even if they don't, Ohio State's defense (allowing 2 touchdowns in a game only once this season) will more than pick up the slack. Plain and simple, the Buckeyes are like Jimmy Woods in "The Wizard" this season - they're playing on a whole different level, and on their way undefeated to the championship. Ohio State covers the spread. Damn, they're good. And I didn't even have to work in a "the pressure of this game is so intense that its literally killing Michigan coaches" joke. That would have been tasteless and I'm above that. Sure I am.

NC State -4 NORTH CAROLINA

ACC football! 3-7 NC State squares off against 1-9 North Carolina! Feel the excitement! I'm sure late-season matchups like this are exactly what commissioner John Swofford had in mind when he expanded the ACC into two divisions for football. Mercifully, student attention turns to UNC's basketball home opener this Sunday. At least the Tarheels end the season with a trip to 0-10 Duke. NC State covers the spread.

HAWAII -24 San Jose State

For those of you who haven't been paying attention this season, Colt Brennan of the Fighting Rainbow Warriors has thrown for 3753 yards and 43 TDs this season. This guy is firing more bullets than people trying to cut the line for a PS3. Since losing to undefeated Boise State, Brennan is averaging 5.14 TDs per game. Those are XBox-type numbers. San Jose State, on the other hand, is allowing less than 20 points per game - a far cry from Hawaii's 48+ points per game on offense. Even though the Spartans are 6-3 this season, and they almost upset 10-0 Boise State last week, I'm sensing a blowout in Honolulu. Aloha, SJSU. Hawaii covers the spread.

TEXAS TECH -6 Oklahoma State

OK State is taking one on the chin from Texas Tech. Think about it. The Red Raiders cover the spread.

USC -6 California

Trap game? I laugh in the face of trap games. Evidently Cal doesn't. After losing to Arizona last week, Cal pretty much ruined any hopes of a BCS championship bid. With a win over USC, they could at least grab an invite to a BCS bowl game, prove that they belong in a big bowl game, and throw a wrench into the rankings. Looking at this game on paper, John David Booty of USC and Nate Longshore of Cal match up pretty evenly. They each have thrown for about 20 TDs, they each have a 60% completion percentage and they each have pretty cool last names. The difference maker in this game will likely be the effectiveness of the running game. Cal has allowed only 13 more yards on average than USC over the last 5 games, however, the Bears have also given up 5 more rushing touchdowns in that span. As much as I'd love to see USC lose this game, I just can't see it happening. If Nate Longshore regains the form he showed against UCLA (20/24 - 266yards - 3 TDs) this should be the best game of the week. However, I don't see him rebounding against Pete Carroll and the Trojans. USC covers the spread. I really hope I'm wrong.

Check back next week for my Thanksgiving column from deep in Trojan territory for the USC-Notre Dame battle. Anyone with tickets, please forward them along to me.

Week 11 - Part 2

In the words of the co-founder of Half Jewish Sports, Jesse Martineau, "Holy Jeebus." Last night's Rutgers - Louisville game was one to remember for a long time, or at least until the collective elation from 50,000+ students and faculty gives way to the realization that they still have to beat West Virginia on the road to even have a shot at the National Championship. Until then, live it up, Scarlet Knights. You played one heckuva game last night. Just don't tell any of my Seton Hall classmates that I was rooting for Rutgers. The fact that Rutgers was nearly always the butt of jokes both in New Jersey and on my radio show (they were 1-11 my senior year) makes this such a "feel-good" story. That and the fact that by Rutgers winning, it totally screws up the BCS. I can't wait to see which Big East/SEC/Big XII/Pac-10 team makes a stink this year.

In more somber news, the University of Miami made headlines for a different reason this week as defensive lineman Bryan Pata was shot and killed on Tuesday night. As much as I joke about Miami being a bunch of thugs, this really shows how unimportant wins and losses can be to a team. I'll be rooting for the Canes this weekend to use this as a rallying point and make the most out of what has been the season from Hell. Plus I'd love to see Maryland take it on the chin.

Maurice Clarett Award nominee: Florida wide receiver Nyan Boateng who was stabbed in the leg by a female student during an argument this week. Please, you're a wide receiver, not a punter. Injuries like this are soooooooo last month. On to the picks.

Last Week: 0-5
This season: 23-26-1

0-5 is what happens when you claim that the odds for a game aren't listed when in fact the game is scheduled for the next week. My deepest apologies to the gambling gods who must have been offended enough to have me lose 2 games by .5 points. If I wasn't so psyched about correctly calling the Rutgers upset, I'd be calling in sick this week. Good times.

Cal -13.5 ARIZONA

Call it a hunch, but USC is no longer the dominant team in the Pac-10. This will be shown in the coming weeks when USC has to play Oregon, Cal, Notre Dame and an underrated UCLA team. Cal on the other hand is 6-0 in the conference, with their "trap" game this week against the Wildcats. I hate the term "trap" game. I get the argument that Cal might be focusing more on USC than on Arizona, or that they don't want to risk injuring their key players the week before a big game, but frankly I think its a load of bull. The fact of the matter is, if Cal wins out, beating two top ranked BCS opponents (Oregon and USC) with their only loss coming in week 1 to a strong Tennessee squad (we know, we know), they have a good shot at playing in the Rose Bowl. Depending on how other teams finish out, they could have a shot at the National Championship. My point is that Cal has been solid against stronger teams all season, and if last week's 3 TD, 0 INT performance from QB Nate Longshore is any indication, the Golden Bears should have little trouble picking apart Mike Stoops' defense this week. Cal covers the spread unless Big Brother Bob shows up to coach instead.

FRESNO ST. -11.5 New Mexico State

Um, yeah so I was looking over the games this week, and after realizing that NM State is 2-7 against the spread, and that Fresno State is 0-8 against the spread including a dismal 1-3 record at home, I figured that this game was the perfect storm (hey anything to get the gambling gods back on my good side, right?). How bad are these teams? New Mexico State is averaging 67.6 yards rushing per game. Fresno State is being outscored on average by more than 12 points per game. What’s the most telling stat here? The Bulldogs have allowed 11 passing touchdowns combined in their last three games, including 6 to Hawaii. New Mexico State just happens to have a QB in Chase Holbrook who has thrown for 3451 yards and 25 TDs this season. Good luck to Fresno State in trying to keep the Aggies out of the end zone this week. I'll take New Mexico State with the points and at least 2 passing touchdowns, please.

FLORIDA INTERNATIONAL -1 UL Monroe

In the second game of the Crappy Teams doubleheader, the winless Golden Panthers are actually favored at home against the Warhawks of University of Louisiana - Monroe. I'm seriously at a loss as to how bad two teams in the same conference can be. The downside is one of these teams is going home without a Sun Belt victory this year. The upside is . . . um I'm still looking for one. I'll take UL - Monroe with the points in this one. They might be bad, but FIU is just plain awful.

Boise State -14 SAN JOSE ST.

"Hi there, we're Boise State; you might remember us as the team with the blue turf, or the team that gets screwed out of a National Championship spot ever other year despite having a better record than almost every team in the country. In fact, we've only lost one in-conference game since 2002. More importantly, we're averaging 420+ yards per game, and our running back Ian Johnson has 20 TDs this season. Seriously, you haven't heard of him? That's weird; he has 17 fewer yards than that Rice guy from New Jersey, and 36 more than that Hart kid up in Ann Arbor. Well you must have heard of our line backer Korey Hall, right? No? Hmm - he has 6 interceptions this year, and he recovered a fumble too. Doesn't ring a bell? Well you've definately have heard of our quarterback Jared Zabransky. He has a 16:5 TD/INT ratio and he's top 12 in passing efficiency. Come on, his last name is Zabransky! Anyway, we're Boise State, we're undefeated too, and we're favored by 14 this week. We think we'll cover the spread.

FLORIDA -13 South Carolina

And you thought I was going to go an entire column without mentioning the return of the Ole Ball Coach to Gainesville, didn't you? Where to begin on this one? With Louisville losing last night, Florida will move up into the top 5 in the nation. Florida is on track to meet Either Arkansas (if they can survive the next 3 weeks) or Auburn in the SEC title game. The winner of that will likely get a shot at either Ohio State or Michigan in the national title game (sorry Big East/Pac-10 fans). HOWEVER, Steve Spurrier and the Gamecocks could muck all that up with a win in the Swamp, and don't think they don't know it. As much as Steve Spurrier made a name for himself with the Fun-n-Gun offense with Danny Wuerffel, don't think he wouldn't love to come back to Florida and play spoiler. And I think he can do it. Stories of Gators' QB Chris Leak playing with a concussion against Georgia were only intensified after he threw three picks against Vanderbilt last week. Combine that with the fact that Tim Tebow hasn't scored a touchdown since the loss to Georgia, and it looks like the Florida two-headed QB monster might be breaking down. Unless RB DeShawn Wynn can get things together against a South Carolina defense that only gives up 17 points per game, the game may very well rest on the dizzy and weary Chris Leak. South Carolina and the points are the best bet this week.

Until next week . . .

Week 11 - Part One

While I plan on posting a full column sometime between now and Friday afternoon, I wanted to post a mini column before tonight's Rutgers-Louisville game. I've seen Louisville favored by 6, and while I truly think Rutgers can win this one (or at least make it a close game), I'm vowing not to pick the game as one of my weekly picks. I will, however, take a cue from the Sons of Sam Horn and write a little "Win it For" column. I hope you enjoy it, and feel free to add your own in the comments section.

An open letter to the Scarlet Knights Football Team:

Win it for the students of Rutgers University, who take so much heat for going to "The State University of New Jersey."
Win it for the residents of New Brunswick whose claim to fame is Brunswick Lanes and bowling.
Win it for everyone in the New York City metro area who has finally realized that college football does exist in the region
Win it for Ramapo's own Coach Greg Schiano, who started his Rutgers coaching career with a 3-20 record before turning things around.
Win it for the 1869 football team, who played the first ever intercollegiate football game against Princeton, and had to wear scarlet-colored turbans and handkerchiefs to distinguish them as a team from the Princeton players.
Win it for Big East Commisioner Mike Tranghese, who has had to deal with losing Miami, Virginia Tech, and Boston College to the ACC, as well as defending his Conference from taunts of "the Big Easy."
Win it for University professor William C. Dowling who favored downgrading the school's football team to Division I-AA - on second thought, screw professors.
Win it for Governor Corzine because he has a beard and paid a bunch of money for tickets to the game tonight.
Win it for Old Queen's, the oldest building at Rutgers, not former governor Jim McGreevey.
Win it for the Grease Trucks who having been serving Fat Sandwiches since 1979
Win it for drunk Rutgers male students, who have been hooking up with Fat Girls since last call.
Win it for Sharon Fordham, Class of 1975 and CEO of WeightWatchers.
Win it for Rutgers and Real World Miami alumnae Ruthie Alcaide who may be the funniest drunk person I've ever seen on TV.
Win it for David DeJesus who is from both Rutgers, and Manalapan.
Win it for Tommy and Gina, who never backed down.
Win it for The Boss who made it big, but never forgot "My hometown."
Win it for the conductors of NJT who allow you to drink on the train.
Win it for John Taylor, inventor of the pork roll.
Win it for Dante and Randal.
Win it for Jason Vorhees who really terrorized Camp NoBeBoSco. Win it for the Jersey Devil in the Pine Barrens.
Win it for Anne's Ghost in Totowa.
Win it for Jimmy Hoffa, wherever he might be buried.
Win it for the 13 Bumps.
Win it for the Statue of Liberty who really lives in New Jersey.
Win it for Tony Soprano even if A.J. is too lazy to make the team at Rutgers.
Win it for Tillie
Win it for the residents of Midgetville
Win it for anyone who ever went "Down the Shore," eats Jersey Fresh corn or tomatoes, rides the PATH, knows the difference between the Turnpike or the Parkway, has never pumped their own gas (into their Camaro no less), has no problem with jug handles, and is just proud of being from the Dirty Jerz.
Last but not least, Win it for yourselves. Lord knows you're gonna get your asses handed to you in three weeks by the Mountaineers in Morgantown.

Week 10 - Getting Back to Basics

Sorry this week's article is late. I was napping during a meeting with T.O.

When I started doing this weekly "pick-em" thing 5 years ago for the World Famous Half-Jewish Sports radio show on WRGW (Thursdays from 4-6 only on GWRadio.com), I would pick some of the least interesting games (I probably even made up a few spreads for some games like Steven F. Austin vs. Sam Houston State) in the country. I almost always picked a MAC game - usually the Golden Flashes of Kent State. After going 2-3 for what seems like the 10th time this season, I'm going back to basics (though I'm staying away from the Mississippi Valley State Delta Devils game this week). GMAC Bowl, here we come!

One other quick note. I'd be remiss as both a Boston sports fan and GW alum if I didn't mention the passing of Red Auerbach, one of the all-time legends in Boston sports and the NBA. As many of you may know, I am an insane Red Sox fan (mostly due to my Mom's dad having no sons and passing along his love of the Sox to his daughter and grandsons), but my Dad's dad was quite the basketball junkie (he captained his WPA team to the league championship in the 1930's) and was as big a fan of the Celtics and Red as anyone I've ever met. Seeing Red on my way to classes twice a week, smoking his cigar before racquetball games always made me think of my grandfather (who had passed away after I started my freshman year) and my connections to home. Red will truly be missed by both GW and Celtic fans alike. Okay, enough of the sob story, Lee. Make us laugh already.

Maurice Clarett nominee of the week: The Southeastern Conference has told the University of South Carolina that they can only play a Gamecock crow during timeouts, after a score, before the game, during halftime and when the game ends. The Gamecock's trademark sound was used mostly to pump up the home crowd during key 3rd downs, defensive plays, and on fourth quarter drives. "We are certainly disappointed that we have to limit the Gamecock crow, as we know its a crowd favorite, but obviously we will comply with the Southeastern Conference rules and regulations," said Jeff Crane, the athletics marketing director. That really is too bad - I've always heard how much people from South Carolina love the sound of a Cock. On to the picks.

Last Week: 2-3
This Season: 23-21-1

Boston College -3½ WAKE FOREST

I was listening to an interview with BIG EAST Commissioner Mike Tranghese last night, and when the topic of BC was brought up, the Commish could not have sounded more dejected about losing BC to the ACC. However, he did note that the Eagles were having a great year and he's not sure why they are so underrated. I agree with him, which is why I'm a bit confused that BC is only favored by 3½ this week. I will agree that Wake Forest is having one of the most surprising years in college football (7-1, 3-1 ACC), but none of those 7 wins have come against teams over .500. Boston College on the other hand, has beaten two ranked teams already (Clemson and VA Tech), and has their sights set on a third. Led by QB Matt Ryan, the Eagles have outscored their opponents by an average of 12.5 points per game - not overly impressive until you consider the fact that BC has only given up 2 TDs in their past 4 games. This game is shaping up to be the poor man's Big East match up from last night. That must be a gut punch to the ACC. I can only imagine that having your big game of the year referred to as less exciting than a Big East contest must be the equivalent of your younger brother drinking you under the table - you never saw it coming, and while you're puking in the bushes he's taking pictures of you with his camera phone to post on Myspace. Not that anything like that has ever happened to me . . . I'm just saying. I'll take BC to cover the spread on this one.

Louisiana State -3½ TENNESSEE

This week, Tennessee athletic director Mike Hamilton articulated his displeasure as the scholars attending the University of Tennessee employed "embarrassing language" for the duration of a football contest which took place against the Crimson Tide of Alabama and asked said academics to use "good judgment" in voicing their support for the Volunteers football squad. Well &@#$ you, Mike Hamilton, and &@#$ LSU too! Tennessee takes the points and wins the &@#$ing game.

Ohio U. -6½ EASTERN MICHIGAN

Here it is, the big MAC face-off you've all been waiting for. The showdown in Ypsilanti. Evidently, there's this other Ohio team that has a shot of winning their conference title this year too. Outside of a 3 game slide this year, the Bobcats of Ohio have been dominating most teams they've played this season. On the other hand, Eastern Michigan is 1-7 and getting outscored by their opponents on average by 11 points a week. Not to mention, the Eagles leading rusher is also their QB. However, they do play in Ypsilanti, which is fun to say. Ohio should have no problem covering the spread in this one.

Central Michigan -18½ TEMPLE

High school football -- if you make the most of it and you play hard, and you practice, and you make an effort to be prepared, you can do well. If you don't, you get stuck at Temple. Central Michigan covers the spread.

I'm a little bummed about there being no posted spread on the UL - Monroe / FIU game. I mean these are two of the absolute worst teams in the nation. Seriously, you'd think that a game between teams with a combined 1-15 record would warrant a little action. Screw you gambling gods - you're forcing me to pick . . .

TEXAS TECH -16 Baylor

I really can't figure out the Red Raiders this season. They started off the year 3-1 after mauling SMU and SE Louisiana (neither of which are top tier programs), but were shut out for three quarters by a 1-8 Colorado squad. Baylor, on the other hand, is 4-5 and hasn't really had a "break-out" game this season. I'm really not sure what intrigues me about this game. Maybe it’s the fact that both teams came within a quarter of major upsets against ranked teams last week. Maybe I just needed another reason to make a "Red" reference this week. Nah, it’s probably the fact that Texas Tech had two players kicked off the team after they were arrested for burglary after “allegedly” stealing a laptop computer and an iPod (rumor has it they'll be transferring to UConn). Even though Baylor and Texas Tech are the two "other" Big 12 teams from Texas, I see this one shaping up to be a good game. I'll take Baylor with the points in this game.

Until next week . . .

Week 9 - And rolling like Rutgers

Big week for Lee last week (and yes, if you go 5-0, you are allowed to speak about yourself in the third person). Thanks to a 10 point 4th quarter from Michigan, I had my first perfect week this season. However, in the words of Winston Wolfe when they show Pulp Fiction on network TV, "let's not start slapping each other's backs just yet." In other news, I'm sure we're all excited about Florida International University's return to the gridiron this week, especially since they're playing Alabama and are ready to "shock the world." Um, I'm not sure that after getting into a huge brawl against Miami, an FIU team that is 0-7 and missing 9 starters can do much else to shock the world (that is unless they set Bryant-Denny Stadium on fire or kidnap Alabama's mascot or something).

Maurice Clarett nominee: Another tough one this week - especially following in the footsteps of both Miami and FIU, but UConn has done it again. Quickly becoming the Thug U of the northeast, UConn has another player in the news, this time backup guard Donald Thomas. Thomas was arrested after starting a fight inside Wings Over Storrs, a campus restaurant. I'm not sure any of you has been to a "Wings Over (insert your local college town here)," these restaurants are a dime a dozen (well not really - but a dozen wings for a dime would be amazing) and late nights they're usually filled with students whose hunger has been, "chemically induced." I took a look at the menu for this place, and you can actually order 6 pounds of boneless wings for $58, 120 wings for $63, or if you really want to have a coronary, you can order Two Full Racks of Ribs, 60 Wings, 40 Boneless wings, 2 large french fries, 2 large coleslaw, and 3 - 2 liter sodas for a mere $100! Well worth fighting over, Donald! On to the picks.

Last week: 5-0
This season: 21-18-1

MIZZOU -2 Oklahoma

Last week Oklahoma proved that they could still compete without Adrian Peterson. Well against Colorado anyway. This week the Sooners take on Missouri and QB Chase Daniel who has thrown for 19 TDs this season and rushed for another 3. On the flip side, Oklahoma's defense is giving up only one passing TD per game this season, and held Colorado to 39 yards passing last week. Sounds like the perfect "unstoppable force meets the immovable object" game. The only thing that concerns me is that though the Tigers are 5-0 at home this year, they've only beaten Oklahoma once in the last 22 years, and I'm pretty sure Jason White had something to do with at least half of those games. What this boils down to is whether or not OU's defense can keep up their recent success against one of the top air attacks in the nation. I say they can. Oklahoma and the points will beat Missouri.

Vanderbilt -9.5 DUKE

I'm sure you're all saying, "Seriously, Lee, you're picking the Vandy / Duke game?" Yes - When you're Lee Lubarsky and you have your own pretend weekly football column, you can pick whatever games you want. But for now, you'll have to deal with my picks. To be honest, the only reason I'm picking this game is because its Halloween weekend, the Devils are 0-7, and strange things happen with Devils on Halloween. Yeah, it sounded dumb to me too, but if Duke can put up 13 points in a quarter against Miami's JV squad, they might be able to come within 10 of a team that lost by 18 to Steve Spurrier last week. And when I lose this game you can say you told me so. I'll take Duke and the points.

Penn State -3 PURDUE

This game very well could be one of the best matchups all season. No, seriously. Penn State has lost three games this season to top 5 opponents (two of which - Ohio State and Michigan - will likely compete for the national title, and Notre Dame, who still thinks that they deserve a shot at the championship, just ask Charlie Weis). Likewise, Purdue has only lost to Notre Dame, Iowa and Wisconsin, all top 25 teams. Even with their 5-3 record, the Boilermakers are still only managing a margin of victory of 0.5 points per game. While Purdue has a solid QB in Curtis Painter (13 TDs, 2405 yards), their defense has been less than stellar, giving up an average of 29 points per game. The bottom line is that Purdue's passing game has been great all season minus last week's debacle against Wisconsin. I don't think Penn State can keep up with the Boilermakers' passing game, especially not on the road. Plus it always makes me laugh when Joe Paterno does that slow jog off the field at halftime. Watching 79 year-old men run is funny. I'll take Purdue with the points in this one.

FLORIDA -14 Georgia (at Jacksonville)

Ah yes, the artist formerly known as the World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party. This game is always my favorite to pick. I mean, with that many people getting drunk, how can anyone lose? Florida is still smarting from their embarrassing loss to Auburn, and with Georgia coming off a 27-24 win against Mississippi State, this game has all the makings of an upset. Yeah, not so much. I really have no big comment for this game other than the fact that if Georgia loses this game, they likely won't beat anyone else except Kentucky this season. Florida should have no problem in this one, and then they can go off and celebrate at the World's Largest Outdoor Non-Alcoholic Beverage Party. Florida covers the spread.

Notre Dame -13 NAVY ( at Baltimore)

This is always my favorite game to pick, the "Jesse Martineau Classic," so named for Jesse's love of both Notre Dame and the Navy. I'm really torn on this game, and I'll tell you why. Charlie Weis historically has not been one to run up the score against teams (Notre Dame is 1-9-1 ATS in their last 11 games), and Brady Quinn and his offense have shown flashes of greatness this season (5 TDs @ Michigan State), as well as glimmers of futility (5 sacks allowed against UCLA). However, Navy is the type of team that has given their opponents fits this season and their only losses have come two weeks ago against Big East Champion-to-be Rutgers, and a 1 point overtime squeaker against Tulsa. Plus, the Midshipmen will start QB Kaipo-Noa Kaheaku-Enhada. That alone should be enough for Navy to overcome 42 straight losses to the Irish. Alas, it won't happen this week, and though Notre Dame is notorious for playing down to their opponents this season, I see them winning by more than 2 TDs. I'll go out on a limb and pick Notre Dame to cover the spread. Maybe a good outing from the Irish will stop Charlie Weis from crying about the rankings in his press conference this week.

Until next week . . .

Week 8 - I was about to go down the elevator and get into that thing

Never wanting to disappoint, the University of Miami, with the help of Florida International may have very well won the Maurice Clarett award this season. As if it wasn't bad enough to be 0-6 and be losing 14-0, you "get your butt beat" in a brawl on the field. The only thing uglier than that was Florida's poor showing against Auburn last week. I guess Auburn doesn't lose twice at home in back-to-back weeks after going shopping with their wife. Or something like that.

Last week: 3-2
This season: 16-18-1

Maurice Clarett nominee: With so many to choose from, I'll have to go with Hurricane's broadcaster (and former player) Lamar Thomas. Yes, the brawl was an unfortunate incident, and yes, if Joe Buck had been calling the game, his head might have exploded, but Thomas, kidding or not, didn't help matters much by commenting, "You come into our house, you should get your behind kicked. You don't come into the OB playing that stuff. You're across the ocean over there. You're across the city. You can't come over to our place talking noise like that. You'll get your butt beat." I know Thomas got caught up in the moment, but across the ocean? Dude, the two schools are like nine miles apart. Someone didn't take geography when he was at The U. On to the picks.

OKLAHOMA -14 Colorado

Ok, so the Sooners took a big step backwards last week as star RB Adrian Peterson broke his collarbone and will miss the rest of the regular season. How important was Peterson to the Sooners? About as important as El Duque and Pedro were to the Mets pitching staff, and look how that turned out. However, the Mets found ways to win without their stars, and I think Oklahoma will do the same. Peterson was a beast on offense, but the Sooners are still relying more on their passing game than their running game this season. QB and unlikely hero Paul Thompson has thrown for 10 TDs this season, and Oklahoma's defense is holding opponents to an average of 6.3 points over the last three games. Not only that, but this is Colorado - as in "shiny happy people holding hands" Colorado? The Buffs are coming off their first win of the season, and if anyone thinks they'll be able to keep up with the Sooners in Norman, I have some Mets World Series tickets sell them. Oklahoma covers the spread.

FSU -6.5 Boston College

BC beat up on a solid VA Tech team last week, but may be missing QB Matt Ryan who is questionable this week with a foot injury. Florida State beat Duke, Rice, Troy, and snuck by Miami in Week 1. I don't mean to put down the Noles, but I'm not even sure Bobby Bowden was awake for half of those games. This week, FSU will have to rely on their passing game to beat the Eagles. Most of this responsibility will lie on the shoulders of the Seminoles' leading receiver, De'Cody Fagg, and we all know how the Catholics at BC feel about Faggs . . . I have Boston College with the points over Florida State.

NOTRE DAME -14 Ucla

Screw you Notre Dame. You and your 5-1 record look so inviting even though you're 1-4-1 against the spread. And screw you too, UCLA for never having beaten Notre Dame. Everything in this game points to Notre dame being able to cover the spread. Yeah, that's what I said two weeks ago, and the Irish managed to botch that one against an awful Stanford team. Even UCLA beat Stanford by 31. Therefore, using the transitive property of equality, if UCLA beat Stanford by 31, and Notre Dame beat Stanford by 21, UCLA should beat Notre Dame by 10. See, I knew high school math would come in handy. I'll take UCLA with the points. Prove me wrong, Charlie Weis.

PITTSBURGH -6.5 Rutgers

Yeah, the other game in the Big East is in two weeks, but for now, this could answer a lot of questions surrounding unbeaten teams in the league. Are Rutgers and RB Ray Rice for real? Should Pitt's 38-23 loss to Michigan State be a better indicator than their 51-6 victory over The Citadel? Do all of West Virginia's players sleep with their sisters/cousins? Just how does Louisville's Mario Urrutia pronounce his last name? Needless to say, with such burning questions, I asked a real expert, my roommate Jason the bridal gown designer, for his take on the game.
Jason: "What is Pittsburgh's mascot?"
Me: "The Panthers"
Jason: "Ok, hmm. What is Rutgers' mascot?"
Me: "They're the Scarlet Knights."
Jason: "Oh that sounds much cooler. I think Rutgers will win."
I trust Jason' judgment, and I'll take Rutgers with the points.

MICHIGAN -13.5 Iowa

A win over Penn State and a catatonic Joe Paterno last week, coupled with Florida's debacle against Auburn moved the Big Blue into the number 2 spot in the country. Awesome, just what everyone was hoping for, an eventual showdown with THE Ohio State University for the Big Ten (11) championship on November 18th which will probably overshadow the BCS National Championship at the end of the season because of stupid Pete Carroll's USC team that keeps winning games, resulting in another discussion on the effectiveness of the BCS at determining a national champion. Sorry, I got a little carried away for a second. Iowa lost to Indiana last week, and anyone with half a brain (thinly veiled Terry Hoeppner reference) should be able to beat Indiana. I think Michigan wins this one handily at home against an Iowa team that is clearly overmatched. Plus, I don't think Lerner can take the stress of the Mets and Michigan losing in the same week. Michigan covers the spread.

Until next week . . .

Week 7 - Just Call Me MJ . . .

. . . Because I'm stuck with the 2-3. I've realized that either a) I know nothing about these games and I should really watch more football or b) I'm overanalyzing it too much and should go with my gut feeling (like Notre Dame not covering - again). I'll take the latter.

This week was an especially big one in New York sports. Yes, the Yankees are out of the playoffs, yes Joe Torre still has a job, but more importantly, Yankee pitcher Cory Lidle crashed his plane into the side of an apartment building in New York. I know I'm supposed to play the "Red Sox fan who hates everything Yankees" but as a big baseball fan, and guy who had Lidle on his fantasy baseball team, I can't but feel sad. However the $450 Lidle helped me win will not be going to his kid's college fund.

Last Week: 2-3
This Season: 13-16-1

Maurice Clarett award nominee: The Wisconsin Badger Marching Band narrowly beating out VA Tech WR Josh Hyman who was suspended from Thursday night's game after blowing a .12 and being charged with DUI early last Friday morning. Get it, Hyman was busted for DUI. The Wisconsin Band was put on probation for behavior "that can be seen as anything from boorish and offensive to patently dangerous and unlawful." The Chancellor of the school John Wiley warned the band that any continued acts of "gratuitous vulgarity, sexualized banter or joking, hazing, or other forms of demeaning conduct" would result in the suspension of the band's season. Gratuitous vulgarity? Sexualized banter? What is left for these band kids to talk about? And I thought that "and this one time at band camp" joke would get old. Thanks Badgers!

On to the picks.

Auburn -1 Florida

I could talk about how the outcome of this game is likely going to shake up the SEC and that both teams are likely to be bowl bound (including Florida's potential shot at a National Championship) or the fact that the Gator QB tandem of Chris Leak and Tim Tebow are getting fans in Gainesville as excited about this team as they used to get during the good ole days of fun-and-gun, but I won't do that. Instead, I'll tell you that Auburn has a WR named Lee Guess. I think that's an invitation. Florida takes the point and beats Auburn.

California -8.5 Washington State

"Hey Cal QB Nate Longshore, why aren't you a Heisman candidate? You've only thrown for 1400 yards and 17 TD's. Your team is 5-1 and ranked 10th in the nation. You took Oregon behind the woodshed last week and blew open what should have been a close game. Oh, that's right; you lost to Tennessee in Week 1. That must be it." Cal covers the spread.

Maryland -4 Virginia

Man do I hate Maryland football. I hate those stupid "We must protect this HOUSE" commercials, I hate that they play in Byrd Stadium even though their mascot is a turtle, and I hate the swagger that Maryland fans get because they had one good season under that stomach-stapling coach of theirs Ralph Freidgen. However, this season Maryland has beaten the teams they should have (William & Mary, Middle Tennessee, Florida International) and lost to teams they should have lost to (West Virginia, Georgia Tech). This week, Maryland goes to Charlottesville for their first real "iffy" game. And as much as I dislike Maryland, they ALWAYS get up for the game against the Cavaliers. Plus Maryland's QB is out to prove that he ain't no Hollenbach-girl. Sorry - I couldn't resist. Maryland covers this one.

Arizona -4 Stanford

Not even the "Stanford Band is on the field" could save this season. Fortunately for the Cardinal, this is their best shot at a win this season. Unfortunately for them it probably won't happen this week. No wonder the girl who wore the Tree costume drank so much. Arizona covers the spread.

Navy -1.5 Rutgers

Rutgers burned me two weeks ago with the "blocked" field goal in the 4th quarter that would have put them up by 5 thus covering the 4 point spread. However, the field goal was blocked, they won by 2, and yup, Lee went 2-3 for the week. Rutgers is one of 3 Big East schools that remain undefeated. Yes, we're still talking about football. I'm of the school of thought that thinks Service Academies are full of fantastic athletes, but that you'll never see Army, Navy or the Air Force contend for a National Title. That being said, I think Rutgers has a legitimate shot at a big bowl game this year, and Navy will not get in their way of staying undefeated. Heisman committee, do you hear that knocking? It's Ray Rice, and he and his 11 TD's want to come in. Rutgers covers this week and rolls to 6-0. Hell may freeze over.

Until next week . . .

Week 6 - Keeping Your Head Above Water

Just like the Jeffersons, I'm barely staying near the .500 mark. After another 2-3 week, I'm feeling like the Mets' pitching staff. No, not old and overpaid - bruised but managing to stay alive. For now. Yes, I'm a bitter Red Sox fan - deal with it. On to the picks.

Last week 2-3
This season 11-13-1

This week's Maurice Clarett nominee: Mississippi State defensive back Adron Chambers who was suspended from the team and arrested on charges of attempted sexual battery. Evidently sexual battery is a felony, and not something you put into a vibrator. Who knew? Honorable mention to members of the Yale football team for fighting in public with the hockey team. I remember guys I knew in college who played hockey and guys who played football. Yes, the football players were big, strong and intimidating, but the hockey players were just plain crazy. I'm just glad that I was on the same intramural hockey team as the hockey players and not facing off against them. These are guys who used to get into fights during intramural games with guys on their club hockey team. Seriously they were certifiably crazy. You'd think that Yale students might have the foresight not to get into a scuffle with hockey players. Oh well - there's always Harvard.

CALIFORNIA -5.5 Oregon

Cal QB Nate Longshore has a major chip on his shoulder. Even though the Bears have won their last 4 games, scoring 40+ points in each, Longshore feels all anyone keeps talking about is their week 1 loss to Tennessee. Yes, the 4 wins have come against opponents who are a combined 10-9 this season, and yes, Longshore has completed 67% of his passes this season. So Cal is probably right when they say that the Tennessee loss was an anomaly. However - here's a message to the Bears. Instead of complaining about the media's focus on the lone loss of the season, how about turning your attention to Oregon? The Ducks are 5-0 this season, and QB Dennis Dixon (your mouth) is averaging 40 points and 497 yards per game. I don't know much, but 497 yards a game is a lot. Look for Oregon and Dixon (your mouth) to assert themselves this week and give the media another game to bug Nate Longshore about. I'll take Oregon with the points.

NOTRE DAME -31.5 Stanford

In the words of President Bush, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice . . . you can't fool me again." Last week Notre Dame for the second time did not not cover the spread. They pushed. This makes the Irish 1-3-1 against the spread this season. Enter Stanford. Stanford is 0-5 this season, and 0-5 against the spread. The oddsmakers are taunting just about everyone this week with a spread of over 31 points. The key stat - the Irish are just missing the spread every week whereas Stanford misses it by at least a touchdown every week. I think this is where Brady Quinn starts to separate himself from the rest of the Heisman pack. Notre Dame (gulp) covers. I think.

Pittsburgh -7 SYRACUSE

When did Syracuse get good? They're seriously 3-2? Why wasn't I aware of this? Oh, that's right, it's the Big East, and I don't care. I'll take Pitt to cover.

FIU -3.5 NORTH TEXAS

Okay, I'm recycling a joke from last week. Did we learn nothing? FIU was favored last week by 7.5 and managed to lose that one by 25. 0-5 FIU! Yes, North Texas lost to Middle Tennessee last week 35-0 (who lost to Oklahoma 59-0 bringing up the question, "Could Oklahoma beat North Texas by 94?"). I still think that A'mod Ned is no name for a running back, and North Texas' QB is named Woody. Hee hee - the Mean Green has a Woody. I'll take North Texas with the points.

Wyoming -1.5 NEW MEXICO

Evidently the coach for New Mexico is named Rocky Long. Seriously - that's his given name, and as far as I know, he's never done porn or anything. However, his dad Rod was a football player at BYU in the late 1940s. Wait, his dad's name is Rod Long, and he named his son Rocky? How did this family not get into the porn industry? Amazing. Almost as amazing as New Mexico being a home underdog to 1-4 Wyoming (who are 0-2 on the road this season and lost in double OT to Syracuse last week). I'm going with New Mexico and the points.

Yes, I know the Red River Shootout is this week, and yes, I know this will probably be the closest game since the mid-nineties, but I can't decide if Oklahoma is primed to take back the Golden Hat or if Texas would make it two in a row. The truth is, I have a good idea who is going to win this game, but a couple of Sooner fans would be pretty pissed if I picked against OU so we'll leave it at that. See you next week.

Week 5? More like Weak 5

Wow, I went 2-3 last week, and I’m officially under .500 for the season. If I keep this up I may have to accidentally mix my Hydroxycut with the Vicodin I’ve been taking for my broken rib and have an “allergic reaction.” No, I’m not trying to harm myself.

A lot has happened in the past week. Another replay official, this time from Conference USA, was suspended after blowing a fumble call, Rutgers was ranked in the Top 25 for the first time since 1976, and WR Keegan Toci of Harvard was dropped from the team for a skit he performed in which he cited 20 reasons why the school's Division I-AA football program would never rise to Division I-A. Seriously? At some schools in the southeastern US (which may rhyme with “Riami”) you could steal laptops, sell them for drug money, buy an eight-ball, knock up a stripper, record a song about it, and still start at defensive back the next week. I don’t know who is more surprised this week, Toci, or the State of Oklahoma after hearing that president David Boren is ready to “move on.” Yeah, and I’m sure that thumping of Middle Tennessee helped in the grieving process.

This week’s Mo Clarett award nominee: The security staff at Southern University. Burglars stole sneakers, money, football rings and electronics from North Carolina Central University's locker room during the football team's game last week. Southern University officials are embarrassed by the theft, and have pledged University Police will follow up on the case. Well that’s reassuring. When I was in school, UPD was useful for riding around campus on their bikes and watching TV in the rec center. Good luck finding the perps, guys. On to the picks.

Last week: 2-3
This season: 9-10-1

Rutgers -4 SOUTH FLORIDA

My Friday night special. Rutgers lost another wide receiver this week when Shawn Tucker broke his ankle last week against Howard. This will have an affect on the air attack, but shouldn’t matter too much. Rutgers 4-0 record rests firmly on the shoulders of RB Ray Rice and his 9TDs. Rice has more success running in New Jersey than Rick Tocchet’s gambling ring ever did. I really think Rutgers has a good chance to win the Big East this year (which is similar to the old joke about medaling at the Special Olympics). My only caveat is that the only thing easier than Rutgers’ schedule is their coeds (Yay Jersey Girls!). However, I don’t see USF, who struggled against Kansas and FIU this season as a big problem for Rutgers. I’ll take Rutgers to cover Friday night. Hooray Jersey!

Wisconsin -10½ INDIANA

For Terry Hoeppner's sake, I'm picking this one with my heart and not with my brain. I'll take Indiana with the points.

FLORIDA INTERNATIONAL -7½ Arkansas State

Florida International is favored? That ranks right up there with Daniel LaRusso's gonna fight! My mind is boggled by this one. FIU's leading rusher is some guy named Ned. Ned is not a strong running back name. ASU's running backs are Arnold and James. These are solid RB names. Not Ned. I'll take the Indians with the points over FIU.

VANDERBILT -34 Temple

I'm torn on this one. Vandy is bad, but Temple SUCKS. I mean like we've-only-scored-ten-points-all-season sucks. I wish there was a positive for Temple, but I can't really find it. Even my Rabbi made mention of how ineffective the Temple offense is. "Lee," said Rabbi Shlomo, "Jewish boys were just not meant to play football." Personally, I've always gone by the "Don't pick against Temple during the Jewish Holidays" rule. Or is it don't pick Temple during the Jewish Holidays? I forget. What I haven't forgotten is that Temple SUCKS. Even after scoring their first TD of the season last week, I'm still picking them to lose big. Vanderbilt covers the spread in this one. Temple looks forward to MAC games more and more each week.


Ohio State -6½ IOWA

Okay, this one has all the makings of an upset. Ohio State is a consensus number 1, featuring the modern-day Cerberus of Troy Smith, Antonio Pittman, and Ted Ginn Jr. (who sounds like a serial killer, especially the way he slashes through opposing defenses ). #13 Iowa is also 4-0, and has held teams to an average of under 85 yards rushing per game. Additionally, Iowa is 26-2 at home dating back to the 2002 season, including a 33-7 drubbing of the then #23 Buckeyes in 2004. This time, Ohio State comes into Iowa City as a consensus #1, at a venue where the top team in the country has embarrassed the Hawkeyes in each their last three games against a #1 team. Though Iowa has a strong defense, and QB Drew Tate seems to have recovered from his week two injury, and Iowa coach Kirk Ferentz seems to think that Iowa hasn't yet played their best football, I'm not convinced. If the Texas game is any indication, Ohio State should have no trouble containing Tate and the Hawkeye offense. This game will come down to whether or not Iowa can slow down Smith and the air attack and force Ohio State to win this one on the ground. I say 'Not.' Ohio State rolls to 5-0 and covers the spread.

Sorry they were so late this week, more next Thursday.

Week 4 - Wow, that was bad

After a 1-4 week, I've changed the name, changed the address, and hopefully changed my luck. I'm still in a bit of a tizzy over how crazy things have gone this past week. OU President David L. Boren said, "To describe the lapses in accurate officiating at the Oklahoma-Oregon football game last Saturday as constituting an outrageous injustice is an understatement." Even crazier this week was Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez who said, "Yesterday, the devil came here. Right here. Right here. And it smells of sulfur still today, this table that I am now standing in front of." Even creepier was that Chavez was talking about Pac-10 replay official Gordon Riese.

Not to keep raising a painful subject, but I'm not sure what the big deal over the Oklahoma/Oregon game is. I mean Oklahoma did cover the spread after all . . .

This week's Maurice Clarett award nominee: Connecticut starting safety Marvin Taylor who was arrested on larceny charges related to the illegal use of a credit card. You may remember Marvin as the player who was also arrested last season for pellet-gun shooting outside a convenience store in May 2005. Marvin also narrowly beat out Florida's Marcus Thomas who was suspended indefinitely Wednesday for a second violation of the school's substance-abuse policy. Yes, Marcus tested positive twice for marijuana usage, but Marcus' mom believes both violations came from the same drug use. Nothing says love quite like mom coming to the defense of your bong hits. On to the picks.

Last week: 1-4
Season 7-7-1

Middle Tennessee +28 OKLAHOMA

Raise your hand if you think Bob Stoops will make sure this game is over by the second quarter. Yup, that seems like all of you. Between the painful loss on the road last week, and the fact that OU has a GIANT chip on their shoulder after dropping 5 spots in the coaches' poll, the Sooners feel like they have a lot to prove. Heisman Hopeful Adrian Peterson should have little problem shredding the Blue Raiders defense (who have given up a combined 362 rushing yards to powerhouses FIU, Maryland and Tennessee Tech), and I think that Middle Tennessee coach Rick Stockstill is a bit jaded when he says, "[Oklahoma] losing last week won't have a difference in this week's game." For the most part, Rick, you're right. Oklahoma will mop the floor with the Blue Raiders and more than cover the spread.

Colorado + 26.5 GEORGIA

An anonymous email to Buffs coach Dan Hawkins was intercepted by my spies this week and it reads: Coach - Players aren't responding to the "passionate, excited coach" shtick. Another loss and we're bringing back the booze and strippers. Sincerely, Gary B. At least when the teams were losing under Gary Barnett, we knew that had no trouble scoring, on or off the field. Now, the Buffs have mustered a paltry 23 points total this season. Unfortunately for them, they run into a brick wall in Georgia this weekend against a Bulldog team that has allowed zero points in their last two games this season. I don't see things changing this week, and even if Georgia's offense (led by true freshman quarterback Matthew Stafford) isn't 100% this week, I see the Dawgs covering the spread and Colorado drowning their sorrows in big mugs of root beer and Disney movies.

Buffalo + 43 AUBURN

I'm not sure who scheduled this game or how much money Buffalo is getting to play the part of patsy, but I hope they're getting at least $1000 for every point Auburn scores against them. I'm predicting something crazy like 500 yards rushing after Aubrun said they need to work on a run game that was stymied by LSU last week. Actually, 500 yards rushing might not be so crazy. I just hope that Auburn shows a little mercy on a team that almost fell to I-AA acouple of years ago. Oh, come on, who am I kidding? I'm hoping that Auburn breaks Wyoming's record of 103 points scored in a game. Why not? I did it last week in X-Box, so anything is possible. Auburn covers the spread, and Buffalo uses the money to buy new uniforms and a couple of hookers from the Gary Barnett school of recruiting. They're gonna need them.

Tulane + 36 LSU

I hope you've recognized the trend here. All of these games involve home favorites featuring a HUGE spread, and the pattern doesn't change here. LSU had a great showing against Auburn last week, and continue to impress on defense, giving up only 1 TD in three games (an average of 4.3 ppg.) . This doesn't spell success for Tulane, who have allowed 377 yards and 252 yards passing this season. Once again, I'm going with the home favorite, led by junior QB JaMarcus Russell and his 718 yards passing, to cover the spread and beat up on the Green Wave.


Florida Atlantic + 29.5 SOUTH CAROLINA

Good news Gamecocks fans, the assault charge against QB Blake Mitchell was dropped last Friday after my column was written. The bad news? Mitchell didn't start and South Carolina beat Wofford 27-20. That makes two games in a row that the Old Ball Coach's offense has let him down. The lack of scoring could work both ways, either South Carolina rallies around their returning QB (who has yet to throw a TD this season), or they continue their mediocre style of play (averaging 14 points per game). Mind you, FAU is one of ESPN's bottom 10 teams this season, but I don't think South Carolina will dominate FAU the same way Clemson, Kansas State and Oklahoma State all have. Even though the Owls have lost by an average of more than 44 points per game this season, South Carolina just hasn't been impressive enough on offense to cover the spread this week. I'll take Florida Atlantic with the points.

That's it for this week. Hopefully I'll go better than 1-4, but if not, it must be because I'm good looking, I'm biracial, I make the most money, or I play for the most popular team.

Week 3 and feeling as angry as a backup punter

Nothing quite says "teamwork" like stabbing your starting punter in the leg so you can get his job. Allegedly. This week's nominee for the Maurice Clarett award is Mitch Cozad, former backup punter for Northern Colorado. Mitch narrowly beat out South Carolina starting quarterback Blake Mitchell who was arrested after a bar fight early Wednesday. As the story goes, Blake got into the scuffle after another patron took offense to the QB's underage companion entering the bar. Not to worry, even though Blake has been suspended for this week, the "Ole Ball Coach" came to his QB's defense. "I was disappointed he got into a little fight. If he was out with his girlfriend and he wasn't drunk or whatever ... that's what college kids do." Yup, Steve - bar fight at 1:45 a.m. I'm sure Blake was as sober as a two headed field mouse on a country Sunday. Or whatever weird sayings ya'll have down there in the South. On to the picks.

Last Week 3-2 (stupid Tate and his stupid muscle strain)
Season 6-3-1

Florida -3½ TENNESSEE

The big story coming out of this game is that Tennessee defensive tackle Justin Harrell will postpone surgery on his torn left biceps in order to play against Florida this week. Doctors have assured Harrell that he can do no further damage to the arm as long as it is well padded. Additionally, they have ruled that Harrell can do no further damage to his head even if he doesn't wear a helmet. I know these guys are tough and all, and Harrell was an All-SEC pick last year, but does anyone else think this is a good idea? I'm not a doctor (though with a few more biology courses I could probably pass for one in Knoxville) but if Harrell wants to play in the NFL someday, shouldn't he be more worried about getting his arm fixed than a match up against the Gators? Yes, I know, this is a big rivalry, yadda yadda yadda, and I'm sure someday twenty years from now Harrell will reminisce with his buddies from the plant about the game when he played with one arm, had 2 tackles and Tennessee lost to Florida by a touchdown. I'll give him heart, but I can't understand the stupidity of Vols coach Phillip Fulmer by starting a DT with one good arm in such a big in-conference match up. Florida rolls this week and covers the spread.

LOUISVILLE -4 Miami (Florida)

I have this nagging feeling that after outscoring opponents 121-28 over the first two weeks, this is Louisville's welcome back to earth week. Yes, they destroyed Temple last week, 62-0, but they did give up 28 points to Kentucky in week one. What does all this mean? I really don't know. What I do know is that Miami's defense is only giving up 10 points a game. Though I am confident that the Big East is looking less like the Big Easy, I'm not confident that this is the game in which the ACC gets beaten like a two headed field mouse on a country Sunday. I'll take Miami with the points on this one, though I'm sure this will come back to haunt me.

ILLINOIS -3½ Syracuse

Speaking of a resurgent Big East, Syracuse must have posted my column from last week in the locker room as they nearly knocked off Iowa. Either that, or Drew Tate's replacement at QB, Jason Manson threw 4 picks, and Syracuse got turned away on seven consecutive plays from the two yard line. I'm not sure which it was - you tell me. This week, Syracuse takes on mighty Illinois, who have lost their last 10 games against D-I opponents, one game shy of the 11 straight Syracuse has lost. Though Syracuse put up a good fight last week, I think they'll be back to their old habits this week as the Illini are still smarting from the 33-0 loss last week. Illinois covers the spread on this one, and Syracuse makes it 12 in a row. Don't worry Orange fans, only 6 weeks until basketball season.

NOTRE DAME - 6 Michigan

On the list of people I'd least like to be this week, Michigan QB Chad Henne ranks near the top of the list. I don't know many things but these things are facts that I do know. FACT: Henne has thrown for an average of 124 yards per game this season against defenses much worse than the Irish. FACT: Notre Dame's defense always makes it difficult for big name opponents to come into South Bend, especially teams who play a mere 180 miles away, and have goofy helmets (yeah, history, shmistory, the whole winged helmet thing is sooooo out of style this season). FACT: Tom Zbikowski hunts and kills Wolverines with his bare hands and Charlie Weis eats them raw. Okay, I made that last one up. Regardless, I like a battle tested Notre Dame in this one over a Michigan squad who comes in with a chip on their shoulder and leaves with a boot to the ass. Notre Dame wins this one by a TD or more.

OREGON - 4½ Oklahoma

The bad news for Oregon is that they are 0-6 lifetime against Oklahoma, including an upset loss in the Fiesta Bowl last year. The good news for Oregon is that Jason White is no longer eligible for the Sooners. Most analysts say this game will likely be decided in a battle of running backs - OU's Adrian Peterson vs. Oregon's Jonathan Stewart. both have 3 TD's, though Stewart has split the rushing load with Jeremiah Johnson who also has 3 TD's on the year. HOWEVER, I am not most analysts, and I say screw the running game. That's right - this is a game which will be decided in the air. I see Saturday's trip to Eugene as Paul Thompson's coming-out party. Look for Thompson to exploit the Oregon secondary (with the loss of Jackie Bates playing a big part) for 3 or even 4 TDs. Combine that with a couple from Peterson, and Oklahoma should put up big numbers against the Ducks this week. As long as the Sooner defense can hold, Oklahoma takes the points and wins.

Oh and here's a freebee. I'm not scared of the 15.5 points Rutgers is laying to Ohio (I’ll take Rutgers). I'm just prohibited by law and the judges of good taste to pick more than 2 Big East games a week at this point. Then again, if I go 3-2 again this week, I'll be picking those Pitt/Citadel, West Virginia/East Carolina, and South Florida/Kansas games faster than a two headed field mouse on a country Sunday. See you next week.