Well, the good thing about going 0-5 is that there is a ton of room for improvement. While I wouldn't call a 1-3-1 week a major improvement, it is a step in the right direction. And if I keep telling myself that, I'll believe it by this Friday. Also, thank you to the Red Sox who managed to show me that a sweep was possible in the Bronx this weekend. Just not the one I was hoping for.
Before I give my roundup, I'd like to plug a charitable walk I'm doing this weekend. I'm participating in a 6.2 mile walk for the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation. I'm hoping to raise at least $100, and have already pledged to donate $4 for each correct pick this coming week, and $6 for each incorrect pick that I make. While I'm not asking you to do the same, I would ask that you at least consider clicking on the link below and making a small contribution.
Thank you in advance for helping to make a difference. Type 1 Diabetes affects the lives of millions of people - some of them college football fans - and every dollar I raise brings us one step (literally) closer to a cure.
As I said, I managed to get one game correct, three wrong, and a second push on the year.
Maryland (even) once again proved that they can not be relied upon to beat FBS schools this season, with a 2nd half collapse (24 unanswered points!) and a loss to Rutgers.
Houston and Texas Tech (+1) fell well short of the 73 point over/under, and they also managed to play to a push, with the Cougars edging the Red Raiders 29-28. A quick peek at next week's Bonehead: From the AP: Coach Mike Leach said Monday he has banned his players from using Twitter after one of his linebackers noted the coach's tardiness to a team meeting in a tweet Sunday, one day after the Red Raiders lost 29-28 at No. 12 Houston. According to the Lubbock Avalanche-Journal, linebacker Marlon Williams asked on his Twitter account why he was still in a meeting room when "the head coach can't even be on time." That tweet has been deleted and his page no longer exists. I'm sure we'll see an increase in Marlon's sled drills this week in practice.
Miami (-3) didn't exactly slow down RB Ryan Williams (2 TDs, 150 net yards rushing) but they saw their own rushing game grind to a near halt. VA Tech rolled over the Canes 31-7 and leapfrogged them in both polls this week.
Nebraska showed why you don't take a small, unproven school getting 4 TDs on the road, winning 55-0 over UL-Layafette +28). Thanks for reminding me, Huskers.
Cincinnati (-16.5) continued to be the top team in the Big East, but they weren't able to do it by enough points to keep me from losing my third game this week.
After a tough week - both on the field and off - I'm ready to bounce back. Granted, even if I get a single game right, its an improvement, but I'm pumped nonetheless.
Bonehead of the Week:
I was ready to go with the University of Akron, as QB Chris Jacquemain, assistant coach Reno Ferri, and lineman Cowles Stewart were suspended from the team (Stewart was charged with felonious assault for a "beatdown" last month when he repeatedly punched a man in the face until said man went unconscious), but I had a change of heart and went with Oregon fan Tony Seminary. Not because Seminary wrote a letter to Ducks' head coach (and former gym teacher/custodian/ice cream man from Manchester, NH - or whatever he was) Chip Kelly asking for $439 as a refund for travel expenses incurred when he went to see the Ducks lose at Boise State. No I'm nominating him because he received a check for the full amount from coach Kelly, and promptly decided not to cash it. If you ask me for $10 - even if your request is irrational - and I give you the $10, don't show me how much of an idiot you are by giving it back to me. If you don't want something, don't ask for it! On to the picks.
Houston -1 Texas Tech
Texas Tech hung with Texas on the road last week last week - a game I actually watched most of because the Red Sox were crushing Baltimore on Saturday and after living in the DC area for 6 years, I can only watch so much of the Orioles losing. Red Raiders' QB Taylor Potts has thrown for 400+ yards per game this season - including 420 in last week's loss to the Longhorns - making him the top per-game passer in the country. Not to be outdone, Houston's QB Case Keenum is #3 in the nation, averaging 362.5 yards per contest. He also leads the top scoring offense in the nation, is an early Heisman hopeful, and is majoring in kinesiology. Thanks, website of the University of Houston Department of Athletics! Maybe he'll be able to explain why Texas Tech moves into the Top 25 and the Cougars move out of it after Houston drops this game to Texas Tech. See - I made a cougar joke and a kinesiology joke in that sentence. Two for one for you guys! I'm taking the Red Raiders getting one. By the way, the over/under for this game is an astounding 73 points. If I were a betting man, I'd take the under, only because we're looking at 5 TDs from each side and a field goal to win. Not outside the realm of possibility, but then again, neither is a Boston sweep this weekend.
Rutgers EVEN Maryland
I think you all know where I'm going with this one. You're making it too tempting for me, Danny Sheridan. I don't care that the Scarlet Knights are on the road against a Maryland team out to avenge its first home loss since losing to FSU last year (only the second one since October 2007), or that Rutgers' two wins have come against Howard and Florida International, or that the "Pride of Piscataway" may not even be starting QB "Macho Man" Tom Savage this week. Mark my words - the Terps WILL find a way to lose this one. I'm daring you to make me eat my words, Coach Ralph. EDIT: Sorry, I had to add this - any Macho Man reference warrants it. DIG IT!!
Miami -3 VA Tech
There is something about this Miami team that inspires me - maybe its the fact that we're in Week 4, and there haven't been any reported assaults or arrests out of Coral Gables (even if their coach is throwing up gang signs). The college football media loves to tout the difficult first month that the Canes have - FSU, GA Tech, the Hokies, and Oklahoma. Don't worry, I'm not hopping on the Miami bandwagon. It is closed. The first real test will come this week in Blacksburg. The Hokies have a very solid RB in Ryan Williams (6 TDs, 6.8 yards per attempt), though he aggravated an ankle sprain against Nebraska last week. Miami has given up just over 100 yards per game rushing this season, and though they will be up against a better rusher in Williams than they've seen in their wins over the Yellowjackets and the 'Noles, they should be up for the challenge. Granted, I'm the guy that thought Maryland could handle MTSU last week, so take it with a grain (or more) of salt. I'm taking Miami giving 3 this week.
Nebraska -28 UL-Lafayette
Nebraska barely lost to a very good VA Tech team (see above) last week, and though the Huskers are still ranked in both the AP and Coaches polls, their two wins have come against some seriously inferior competition. Not to totally discount Arkansas State or Florida Atlantic, but the last quasi-notable football player to come out of either school was Cleo Lemon, who started 7 games at QB for the 2007 Dolphins. Not exactly NFL feeder schools. What's my point? I don't have one. But the Ragin' Cajuns are getting 28 of them. And I'll take those points and UL-Lafayette this week.
Cincinnati -16.5 Fresno State
Fresno State plays a "frenetic" style of offense that "stretches defenses until they break." Looking at the final score of the Boise State game (51-34 ) it looks like their own defense was stretched and broken. Yes Fresno State has the top running back in the nation, but the Bearcats' defense is "sneaky good" - a technical term - averaging fewer than 2 TDs allowed per game, and holding a very good Oregon State team to 18 points in Oregon. I'm known to be a big stat head, and this game will come down to numbers. Cinci's RB Isaiah Pead has 4,973 friends on Facebook; Fresno State WR Devon Wylie only has 510. I'll take Cincinnati giving the points here.
For those of you marginally interested, here are Jeff's Picks of the Weak
BC(-1.5) VA Tech (+3) Indiana (+20) Memphis (-3) Michigan (-20)
It is really tough to go a perfect 5 for 5 in any given week, but I managed to do just that. Please, hold your applause, I wish to remain humble.
That and I got all 5 games wrong.
Temple managed to lose by only 25, and in the process scored twice as many points in the game (6) than they had in the last three games combined (3). Jesse, I'm sure you're proud.
Tulsa, and their high-powered, 10th ranked offense was completely shut down by the Sooners, and QB Landry Jones must have read, printed, and taped last week's picks to his locker as he lit up the Golden Hurricane for 6TDs. Boomer Sooner, indeed.
Kentucky gave up 95 yards on penalties (though someone on Louisville was called for illegal touching), and really had no answer for Louisville's passing game as they barely won by 4 points.
Purdue lost outright as the Huskies said "YES" to 21 second quarter points and their first win against a Big Ten school in 21 years.
Maryland just plain sucks. Go ahead, Terps, prove me wrong. GW's football team could beat you guys at this point. I'm pretty sure the Hillel intramural 5 on 5 team that went 0-10 my senior year could hang with Maryland for a few quarters this season.
To make matters worse, Jeff Lerner managed to guess correctly on the Georgia and North Carolina games giving him a 2-3 record on the week. Congrats on beating me this week, Jeff. You'll receive an "I Picked Better Than Lee Did" T-Shirt for your efforts.
Yes, Ladies and Gents - the week you've all been waiting for - Rosh Hashanah and the first Temple football pick. I'll kick it to Jesse Martineau for the preview:
OK, before you get the wrong idea about Temple football due to their recent loss to Villanova, let me set the record straight. First of all, Temple is the 2nd best team in the entire Philadelphia area (there are only 2 teams) and by far the best team within the city limits (Nova is in the suburbs). You have to remember, Temple plays its home games at the (75% empty) home of the Philadelphia Eagles!Additionally, the loss to Villanova isn’t bad at all. I mean, they are a perennial Big East (basketball) power and they are currently ranked #2 in the country (for division IAA).So if I was Penn State, I’d be terrified.
We'll get to my thought on this in just a bit, but first - Bonehead of the Week!
I hate to do it, but I'm nominating Joe Paterno. This week, at a press conference, JoPa was asked if he reads criticism of him or his team. His response: You guys don't seem to understand. I don't read anything about us. I get the paper. I go to the bathroom. I take the paper in there and I scan it. The first thing I do is look at who died. All right. Second thing I look at are headlines. Something that says, 'Paterno is the Greatest,' I read it. If it says I'm a bum, I don't even look at it." Its a good thing I don't write for a newspaper, or that Joe has a laptop. We'll leave it at that.
On to the picks:
Purdue -13 NO Illinois
This is an easy one. The spread says NO Illinois, and I'm not going to argue. Purdue with the points it is!
Penn State -29.5 Temple
Ah, yes, the annual game between the in-state rivals. This storied matchup pits the powerhouse of Happy Valley against the top team in downtown Philadelphia. The Owls have vastly improved since going 1-11 in 2006, and have a scorching-hot 9-16 record over the last 2+ seasons.
Did I sell you on Temple yet? I hope so.
Sadly, I don't even believe what I'm writing. The Owls may be better this year, but they have lost to PSU by an average score of 41-1 in their last three meetings. I'm encouraged by the 24 points they scored against Villanova last week, but this Penn State team is out to win a national title this year, and I don't think JoPa will take his foot off the gas until the 4th quarter. By that point,it will (sadly) be too late for Temple - even on Rosh Hashanah. The question is, can Penn State win by 30? I think they can, and I think they will. I'm taking the Lions giving the points.
Oklahoma -16.5 Tulsa
Oklahoma QB Landry Jones doesn't quite have the skill set - or sex appeal - of Sam Bradford. [side note - my ESPN College Football pick 'em team is called "Bradford Your Health." Ha! Isn't that clever?] What he does have is an experienced offense playing a game in front of a crowd that will be boisterous to say the least. The Golden Hurricane brings the 10th ranked offense in the nation into Norman. However, take it from someone who has been there - it isn't easy to score at the University of Oklahoma. Pow! I'm on FIRE! Though I think the Sooners win this game, I don't totally trust Jones to keep pace with Tulsa's G.J. Kinne. I'm taking the Golden Hurricane getting the points in this one.
Maryland -6 Middle Tenn. State
Yikes. There was a time when Maryland would have been favored by 26 against MTSU. A time when losing by 39 to Cal would have been unheard of. A time when Coach Ralph Friedgen could have eaten his weight in Krispy Kreme donuts. Sadly, the Terps lost by 39 to Cal in week 1, had to go to overtime last week to be James Madison (?), and after losing more than 86 pounds since October of last year, Friedgen looks to have replaced the "fried" in his name with "broiled" or "baked."
No? Not a fan of weight-loss jokes? Forget you - what do you know from funny?
For the Terps, times have clearly changed. I'm not even sure that my relatives that went to Maryland are happy about the Terps' chances this week. While Maryland showed signs of life last week, they did give up an astounding 52 points on the road. Nobody beats us in our house? I hope you guys have help. I'm taking Maryland, but only because they're giving six. Anything more than a TD, and I'd be siding with the Blue Raiders.
Kentucky -13.5 Louisville
The Rick Pitino Challenge. I'm going to let you make your own joke here - go ahead, I'll wait.
Kentucky comes into this game having blanked Miami of Ohio. Louisville beat Indiana State by 20. Both teams had fairly weak opponents, but I have to give the upper hand to the Wildcats. Louisville's QB Justin Burke wasn't especially impressive in the starting role, throwing 2 picks and no TDs. He'll be up against a defense that allowed just two 3rd down conversions and zero touchdowns. It looks like he'll have a harder time scoring in Lexington than . . . well, you already made that joke. The Wildcats bring a balanced offense, and should have no problem handling Louisville, and if the offense is capable enough, this one could get as messy as a hasty . . . no - no Pitino jokes. I'm keeping it clean for the kids. I'll go with Kentucky giving the points.
Before I go, I've been challenged by reader Jeff Lerner this week. Feel free to pick any five games against the spread, and you could be featured here next! Here are Jeff's Picks of the Weak:
Tim Tebow must have Edible Arrangements on speed dial. While Matt Barkley's injury isn't likely as bad as Sam Bradford's, you have to wonder just how far the Florida QB's web of henchmen reaches. If I'm Texas QB Colt McCoy, I'm working out of the shotgun against Texas Tech.
Week 2 went better than week 1 did, as I successfully took Florida and Hawaii to cover, and knew that Washington wouldn't. I missed the Army-Duke game, though the LSU-Vandy ended with a push, so my record for the week was 3-1-1. Week 3 brings the High Holidays, and with it my first Temple pick of the year - get excited Jesse Martineau!
While Week 1 didn't go as well as I had hoped, a .400 winning percentage won't doom me for the season. It's not like I'm getting leapfrogged by BYU . . . Before we get to the picks, I want to throw out my "Bonehead of the Week" award winner. Each week, I highlight one of the dumber things to happen in college football. However, this week I'm making an exception. As my alma mater doesn't have a football team, the largest gathering of students each fall happens during the annual "Fall Fest" concert/barbecue/celebration. And, GW students, never ones to shy away from living up to their spoiled and entitled monikers, have once again taken the opportunity to show the nation why THE George Washington University is #1 . . . in cost of tuition. From the GW Hatchet:
Fall Fest finished on a sour note this weekend with headliner Sean Kingston ending his concert after students threw glow sticks on stage, tarnishing what organizers called an otherwise fun afternoon.
After performing about four songs, Kingston walked off stage when glow sticks - which had been provided by Program Board - were thrown on stage. Tim Miller, executive director of the Student Activities Center, came on stage and told the crowd not to throw objects and Kingston returned about 10 minutes later, but he left the stage again after another glow stick was thrown. PB released a statement after the show that said Kingston was struck by two objects thrown after he had come back on stage.
Bad, but not quite the "entitled" we're looking for. Let's got to a GW freshman for the kicker:
"I wish it could have been longer," freshman Hannah During said. "It's GW, it's not like someone's going to take out a gun and shoot him. If he's being paid, people should be able to throw things. Is he afraid of glow sticks?"
Well done, Hannah! You've been a college student for less than a month, and you're already a real Colonial. Thanks for bringing your sunny disposition to our nation's capital. By the way - the article is good, but the video takes the cake. I especially liked the mechanical bull and the two seniors interviewed at the end who noted that it was "sad that Kingston wanted to leave." Hail to the Buff and Blue!
On to the picks!
@Washington -21 Idaho
I don't care how improved the Huskies are, no team that has lost their last 15 games should be favored by 3 TDs, let alone to an Idaho team that last weekend whupped one of the few teams that were on par with the Huskies last season (NM State). Sadly, nothing about this game stood out to me (other than the inflated spread) besides the fact that (as reported by the Idaho Statesman) seven of the Huskies' nine full-time assistant coaches and a graduate assistant either played or coached for the Vandals at some point in their careers. Wow! That is something. Well done on the investigative journalism, Idaho Statesman. Granted that story shared a page with an update on the Idaho statehouse renovations and the Snake River Animal Shelter's rummage sale . . . . so, yeah.
I like the Huskies to get their first win here - the Vandals are really no match for Washington - but I don't like the 21 point spread. I'm taking Idaho getting the points.
@Florida -36 Troy
With Tim Tebow sending a fruit basket as a thank you to Coleby Clawson, the Gators QB gets another shot at padding his stats this week as Florida takes on some guy named Troy. I hated that guy - he terrorized Mikey and Chunk and Mouth - he was a real jerk. I hope the Gators crush him.
Last week Tebow completed 10 of 15 passes for 188 yards with 2 TDs in less than a single half of play. With a second straight week against a sub-par defense, I think we'll see similar results. Not even Mr. Perkins - you know, Troy's father - or the entire Astoria Country Club could help Troy this week. I'll take The Goonies . . . Gators giving 36 points to Troy.
Hawaii -2 @Washington State
Yes, I know, I'm subjecting you to another game featuring an incompetent team from Washington, the Cougars of Washington State. What, you were expecting a joke about Congressional Republicans? I'm classier that that. I'd rather make the joke about how the Cougars will jump right into an attacking style of offense when they confront the tanned, toned young athletes from Hawaii. See what I did there? I made a joke about the team from Washington State being a bunch of Cougars, not Cougars. HA!
As far as the game is concerned, Hawaii still has a potent aerial game that last week racked up 304 yards and 3 TDs against Central Arkansas. I know that Washington State is much better than Central Arkansas, but I don't think they can compete with the Warriors' offense. This game will be a high-scoring affair, and I don't see the Cougars being able to move the ball as effectively or efficiently as Hawaii. Back to the bar for happy hour you go, Cougars. Maybe you can snag a young investment banker or something. I'll take Hawaii giving 2 points.
@Army EVEN Duke
There is roughly a zero percent chance that I'm picking against Army on the day after September 11th. It wouldn't be patriotic. There is also a zero percent chance that I'm picking a Duke team on the road getting no points. It wouldn't be smart. There is additionally a zero percent chance that I'll go through this post without posting one more Muppet picture. It wouldn't be me. Wocka wocka wocka! I'm taking Army straight up.
LSU -14 Vanderbilt
I will preface this pick by saying I have done no research on this game, other than I think LSU won but was outplayed by a weaker team last week. That being said, I have been sitting on the Hampton Jitney for the last 2.5+ hours in traffic on my way to the Hamptons for the weekend. I'm probably missing dinner, there is a small child crying, the woman next to me is taking up most of my seat with her elbows, and her perfume is giving me a contact high/stomach ache. Cornelius Vanderbilt was a rich guy. He probably liked the Hamptons. Therefore by my convoluted and loony logic, Vandy is to blame for my transportation misadventure. A stretch, yes, but you try editing HTML on your Blackberry and then we'll talk. I'm taking the Tigers giving 2 TDs.
I wanted to share this comment from "Married Guys Sports" co-host Jesse Martineau:
Ok, funny as usual, but 2 major issues: 1.) Where is the Temple football analysis? 2.) Whenever you mention Chip Kelly you are obligated to refer to him in this way, "Native of Manchester, New Hampshire and former Physical Education teacher at St. Joseph Junior High School, Chip Kelly"
Sorry, Jesse. I forgot that with you now at Temple Law School, and getting your first taste of college football, I should at least make mention of the gridiron powerhouse that is the Temple Owls. Second, I didn't realize that Manchester, NH had anyone in major DI/pro athletics besides Steve "Bye Bye" Balboni. I figured Manch-vegas only gave us funny Jews like Adam Sandler and Sarah Silverman. I won't let it happen again.
With that out of the way, I'm not sure what is more embarrassing - me going 2-3 on the season opener (including totally misplaying the 14 point spread on the Notre Dame game, and second-guessing myself to the point where I thought Penn State would cover) or Sam Bradford getting knocked out of the game by BYU. Aren't the Mormons supposed to be nonviolent or something? That or have a bunch of wives. Sorry, I flunked Western religions. Either way, I'm sure no one in the Zambuto family is happy about this turn of events - or the fact that I'm posting this photo:
Whatever - its early, Texas isn't for another six weeks, and by losing to BYU, you're not exactly a huge step behind USC and Florida in the "non-Texas Teams Going to the National Championship Sweepstakes." Calm down - you still have the Yankees, you whiny b**ches.
I wanted to get this post up before the game starts (since the other four write-ups might not be finished by tonight).
@Boise State (14) -3.5 Oregon (16)
We start the season with the battle on the Smurf Turf! Or - as I like to call it - the team with the ridiculous looking field against the team with the ridiculous looking helmets. Boise State must be doing something right, as they haven't lost a regular-season game in the last 49 played at Bronco Stadium. However, they're going to have to extend that streak without the help of RB Ian Johnson (who seems like he's been around/married forever). Carries for the Broncos will be split byJeremy Avery and D.J. Harper - who had 8 TDs between the two of them last season, compared to Johnson's 13. On the Oregon side of the ball, the defense will have to do a better job of stopping a passing game that torched them for 386 yards at home last season. Offensive coordinator-turned head coach Chip Kelly hopes they do. He also probably wishes Mike Bellotti took these uniforms with him from the locker room to the AD's office where he now works. Maybe the wings on the jerseys will help the secondary stop sophomore QB Kellen Moore. I don't think they will, and I'm going with Boise State giving the points.
@Penn State (9) -26.5 Akron
Marking the return of Joe-Pa to the sidelines of Happy Valley, Penn State takes on the Zips of Akron (and you'll know that Paterno is back at 100% if he doesn't have to be told not to use Akron's name to make ethnic slurs.) Too much too early? Sorry, I'll tone it down.
Penn State's O-line has been described as "new-look" and "untested." I wouldn't take those as "confident" words. In fact, Akron QB Chris Jacquemain told Cleveland.com, "I really feel there isn't a defense I haven't seen. There is nothing a team can do I haven't seen before."
Well, maybe Joe-Pa could pee himself on the sidelines. That would be something he probably hasn't seen. Unfortunately for Akron, I don't think that will happen, and I don't think this game will go well. I'll bet you clicked on that link of the guy peeing himself, didn't you? Penn State picks up just where they left off last season. I'll take the Lions giving the points.
@Notre Dame (23) -14 Nevada
It's a little early to make Charlie Weis jokes, so I don't want to force it just yet. According to the stat heads in South Bend, eighteen starters return from the 2008 Sheraton Hawai'i Bowl championship squad, including 10 offensive starters, six defensive starters and two specialists. I read most of what the AD's office put together, and I almost believe the Irish have a shot at finishing the season in the top 20. I mean, how bad can Jimmy Clausen be?
On second thought, I'll take Nevada getting 2 TDs.
@USC (4) -34 San Jose State
Now that the dust has settled, and southern California is finally over the shock of USC starting Matt Barkley at QB, we can get to the important questions - like what big celebs will be seen at USC games this season? Past seasons have seen Denzel Washington, Jamie Foxx and Snoop Dogg. I'm hoping we see some big stars, like Frankie Muniz at Trojans games this year!
Sorry - I blacked out for a minute. What happened? Right. Somehow, San Jose State has beaten USC three times, including in Pete Carroll's first season. While I don't think the Spartans will beat the Trojans, I do think they'll make a game of it early. USC pulls away late here, so I'll take the Trojans to cover the spread.
Side Note: I'm typing this on Friday evening, and my wife just turned on the Wendy Williams show. If you've never seen it, and you probably haven't, it's more of a trainwreck than LeGarrette Blount deciding to sucker punchByron Hout in the jaw. Wendy has no cadence, she rants with no discernible end in sight, and watching it makes you nauseous. Kind of like watching Charlie Weis coach a game (see - I did come up with a Weis joke after all!)
@Wake Forest -2 Baylor
Baylor is 2-14 on the road over the last 3 seasons, and they take on a Wake Forest squad that went 8-5 last year and returns the majority of their (okay, mediocre) offense. Either way, I don't see Baylor winning this one on the road. I'll take the Decons giving 2 points.
A Massachusetts transplant (by way of DC) now living in New York City and sharing my thoughts, experiences, and stories as an "outsider" in the Big Apple.
Posts
1.) Where is the Temple football analysis?
2.) Whenever you mention Chip Kelly you are obligated to refer to him in this way, "Native of Manchester, New Hampshire and former Physical Education teacher at St. Joseph Junior High School, Chip Kelly"