Week 2 - Bouncing Back and Hitting My Stride

While Week 1 didn't go as well as I had hoped, a .400 winning percentage won't doom me for the season. It's not like I'm getting leapfrogged by BYU . . . Before we get to the picks, I want to throw out my "Bonehead of the Week" award winner. Each week, I highlight one of the dumber things to happen in college football. However, this week I'm making an exception. As my alma mater doesn't have a football team, the largest gathering of students each fall happens during the annual "Fall Fest" concert/barbecue/celebration. And, GW students, never ones to shy away from living up to their spoiled and entitled monikers, have once again taken the opportunity to show the nation why THE George Washington University is #1 . . . in cost of tuition. From the GW Hatchet:

Fall Fest finished on a sour note this weekend with headliner Sean Kingston ending his concert after students threw glow sticks on stage, tarnishing what organizers called an otherwise fun afternoon.

After performing about four songs, Kingston walked off stage when glow sticks - which had been provided by Program Board - were thrown on stage. Tim Miller, executive director of the Student Activities Center, came on stage and told the crowd not to throw objects and Kingston returned about 10 minutes later, but he left the stage again after another glow stick was thrown. PB released a statement after the show that said Kingston was struck by two objects thrown after he had come back on stage.

Bad, but not quite the "entitled" we're looking for. Let's got to a GW freshman for the kicker:

"I wish it could have been longer," freshman Hannah During said. "It's GW, it's not like someone's going to take out a gun and shoot him. If he's being paid, people should be able to throw things. Is he afraid of glow sticks?"

Well done, Hannah! You've been a college student for less than a month, and you're already a real Colonial. Thanks for bringing your sunny disposition to our nation's capital. By the way - the article is good, but the video takes the cake. I especially liked the mechanical bull and the two seniors interviewed at the end who noted that it was "sad that Kingston wanted to leave." Hail to the Buff and Blue!

On to the picks!

@Washington -21 Idaho

I don't care how improved the Huskies are, no team that has lost their last 15 games should be favored by 3 TDs, let alone to an Idaho team that last weekend whupped one of the few teams that were on par with the Huskies last season (NM State). Sadly, nothing about this game stood out to me (other than the inflated spread) besides the fact that (as reported by the Idaho Statesman) seven of the Huskies' nine full-time assistant coaches and a graduate assistant either played or coached for the Vandals at some point in their careers. Wow! That is something. Well done on the investigative journalism, Idaho Statesman. Granted that story shared a page with an update on the Idaho statehouse renovations and the Snake River Animal Shelter's rummage sale . . . . so, yeah.

I like the Huskies to get their first win here - the Vandals are really no match for Washington - but I don't like the 21 point spread. I'm taking Idaho getting the points.

@Florida -36 Troy

With Tim Tebow sending a fruit basket as a thank you to Coleby Clawson, the Gators QB gets another shot at padding his stats this week as Florida takes on some guy named Troy. I hated that guy - he terrorized Mikey and Chunk and Mouth - he was a real jerk. I hope the Gators crush him.

Last week Tebow completed 10 of 15 passes for 188 yards with 2 TDs in less than a single half of play. With a second straight week against a sub-par defense, I think we'll see similar results. Not even Mr. Perkins - you know, Troy's father - or the entire Astoria Country Club could help Troy this week. I'll take The Goonies . . . Gators giving 36 points to Troy.


Hawaii -2 @Washington State

Yes, I know, I'm subjecting you to another game featuring an incompetent team from Washington, the Cougars of Washington State. What, you were expecting a joke about Congressional Republicans? I'm classier that that. I'd rather make the joke about how the Cougars will jump right into an attacking style of offense when they confront the tanned, toned young athletes from Hawaii. See what I did there? I made a joke about the team from Washington State being a bunch of Cougars, not Cougars. HA!

As far as the game is concerned, Hawaii still has a potent aerial game that last week racked up 304 yards and 3 TDs against Central Arkansas. I know that Washington State is much better than Central Arkansas, but I don't think they can compete with the Warriors' offense. This game will be a high-scoring affair, and I don't see the Cougars being able to move the ball as effectively or efficiently as Hawaii. Back to the bar for happy hour you go, Cougars. Maybe you can snag a young investment banker or something. I'll take Hawaii giving 2 points.


@Army EVEN Duke

There is roughly a zero percent chance that I'm picking against Army on the day after September 11th. It wouldn't be patriotic. There is also a zero percent chance that I'm picking a Duke team on the road getting no points. It wouldn't be smart. There is additionally a zero percent chance that I'll go through this post without posting one more Muppet picture. It wouldn't be me. Wocka wocka wocka! I'm taking Army straight up.


LSU -14 Vanderbilt

I will preface this pick by saying I have done no research on this game, other than I think LSU won but was outplayed by a weaker team last week. That being said, I have been sitting on the Hampton Jitney for the last 2.5+ hours in traffic on my way to the Hamptons for the weekend. I'm probably missing dinner, there is a small child crying, the woman next to me is taking up most of my seat with her elbows, and her perfume is giving me a contact high/stomach ache. Cornelius Vanderbilt was a rich guy. He probably liked the Hamptons. Therefore by my convoluted and loony logic, Vandy is to blame for my transportation misadventure. A stretch, yes, but you try editing HTML on your Blackberry and then we'll talk. I'm taking the Tigers giving 2 TDs.

Until next week . . .