Week 4 - Wow, that was bad

After a 1-4 week, I've changed the name, changed the address, and hopefully changed my luck. I'm still in a bit of a tizzy over how crazy things have gone this past week. OU President David L. Boren said, "To describe the lapses in accurate officiating at the Oklahoma-Oregon football game last Saturday as constituting an outrageous injustice is an understatement." Even crazier this week was Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez who said, "Yesterday, the devil came here. Right here. Right here. And it smells of sulfur still today, this table that I am now standing in front of." Even creepier was that Chavez was talking about Pac-10 replay official Gordon Riese.

Not to keep raising a painful subject, but I'm not sure what the big deal over the Oklahoma/Oregon game is. I mean Oklahoma did cover the spread after all . . .

This week's Maurice Clarett award nominee: Connecticut starting safety Marvin Taylor who was arrested on larceny charges related to the illegal use of a credit card. You may remember Marvin as the player who was also arrested last season for pellet-gun shooting outside a convenience store in May 2005. Marvin also narrowly beat out Florida's Marcus Thomas who was suspended indefinitely Wednesday for a second violation of the school's substance-abuse policy. Yes, Marcus tested positive twice for marijuana usage, but Marcus' mom believes both violations came from the same drug use. Nothing says love quite like mom coming to the defense of your bong hits. On to the picks.

Last week: 1-4
Season 7-7-1

Middle Tennessee +28 OKLAHOMA

Raise your hand if you think Bob Stoops will make sure this game is over by the second quarter. Yup, that seems like all of you. Between the painful loss on the road last week, and the fact that OU has a GIANT chip on their shoulder after dropping 5 spots in the coaches' poll, the Sooners feel like they have a lot to prove. Heisman Hopeful Adrian Peterson should have little problem shredding the Blue Raiders defense (who have given up a combined 362 rushing yards to powerhouses FIU, Maryland and Tennessee Tech), and I think that Middle Tennessee coach Rick Stockstill is a bit jaded when he says, "[Oklahoma] losing last week won't have a difference in this week's game." For the most part, Rick, you're right. Oklahoma will mop the floor with the Blue Raiders and more than cover the spread.

Colorado + 26.5 GEORGIA

An anonymous email to Buffs coach Dan Hawkins was intercepted by my spies this week and it reads: Coach - Players aren't responding to the "passionate, excited coach" shtick. Another loss and we're bringing back the booze and strippers. Sincerely, Gary B. At least when the teams were losing under Gary Barnett, we knew that had no trouble scoring, on or off the field. Now, the Buffs have mustered a paltry 23 points total this season. Unfortunately for them, they run into a brick wall in Georgia this weekend against a Bulldog team that has allowed zero points in their last two games this season. I don't see things changing this week, and even if Georgia's offense (led by true freshman quarterback Matthew Stafford) isn't 100% this week, I see the Dawgs covering the spread and Colorado drowning their sorrows in big mugs of root beer and Disney movies.

Buffalo + 43 AUBURN

I'm not sure who scheduled this game or how much money Buffalo is getting to play the part of patsy, but I hope they're getting at least $1000 for every point Auburn scores against them. I'm predicting something crazy like 500 yards rushing after Aubrun said they need to work on a run game that was stymied by LSU last week. Actually, 500 yards rushing might not be so crazy. I just hope that Auburn shows a little mercy on a team that almost fell to I-AA acouple of years ago. Oh, come on, who am I kidding? I'm hoping that Auburn breaks Wyoming's record of 103 points scored in a game. Why not? I did it last week in X-Box, so anything is possible. Auburn covers the spread, and Buffalo uses the money to buy new uniforms and a couple of hookers from the Gary Barnett school of recruiting. They're gonna need them.

Tulane + 36 LSU

I hope you've recognized the trend here. All of these games involve home favorites featuring a HUGE spread, and the pattern doesn't change here. LSU had a great showing against Auburn last week, and continue to impress on defense, giving up only 1 TD in three games (an average of 4.3 ppg.) . This doesn't spell success for Tulane, who have allowed 377 yards and 252 yards passing this season. Once again, I'm going with the home favorite, led by junior QB JaMarcus Russell and his 718 yards passing, to cover the spread and beat up on the Green Wave.


Florida Atlantic + 29.5 SOUTH CAROLINA

Good news Gamecocks fans, the assault charge against QB Blake Mitchell was dropped last Friday after my column was written. The bad news? Mitchell didn't start and South Carolina beat Wofford 27-20. That makes two games in a row that the Old Ball Coach's offense has let him down. The lack of scoring could work both ways, either South Carolina rallies around their returning QB (who has yet to throw a TD this season), or they continue their mediocre style of play (averaging 14 points per game). Mind you, FAU is one of ESPN's bottom 10 teams this season, but I don't think South Carolina will dominate FAU the same way Clemson, Kansas State and Oklahoma State all have. Even though the Owls have lost by an average of more than 44 points per game this season, South Carolina just hasn't been impressive enough on offense to cover the spread this week. I'll take Florida Atlantic with the points.

That's it for this week. Hopefully I'll go better than 1-4, but if not, it must be because I'm good looking, I'm biracial, I make the most money, or I play for the most popular team.