Week 8 . . . and humbled

So while I wasn't shut out last week, I did go 1-4, and the Red Sox are on the verge of watching the Tampa Bay Rays celebrate an American League Championship in Boston. Between this and the fact that I've been getting to work by 8am and leaving after 7pm everyday (including the weekend) for the last 2 weeks, I'm a bit on edge. Forgive me if this becomes incomprehensible by the end. I'm drinking. Heavily.

BONEHEAD OF THE WEEK

Narrowly beating out ND's Will Yeatman (suspended for the season after blowing a measly .02 at a house party - fine he's under age and has a prior DUI conviction) is Michigan's Mike Milano who was suspended after being investigated for an alleged assault on a Wolverines hockey player during the weekend. I'm not really that surprised that a walk-on running back got into a fight over the weekend, but I'm more surprised that a 5-foot-7, 193-pound walk-on running back took on a 5-11, 197 pound hockey player, and put him in the hospital. Seriously, Anaheim, you may want to re-think drafting Steve Kampfer if he's losing fights to a guy he is a solid 4 inches taller than.

The Sox just left men stranded for the second straight inning. We're in the top the third and I'm on my second beer. Glorious.

On to the picks.

Wake Forest -1 Maryland

Ugh, I can't stand the ACC.

Maryland fans irritate me. Guess what, no one cares about Ralph Friedgen anymore or if he must protect this houuuuuuuuuse. Case in point - the Terps were shut out by Virginia last week 31-0, and I know Maryland fans who keep pointing to the fact that they beat two ranked teams this season (numbers 20 and 23). Wake Forest features true Freshman Brandon "Teddy" Pendergrass. He is so smooth. See what I did there? I made a joke involving a running back with quick moves and an R&B singer. Oh, who cares? I'll take the Deacons to cover.

Sidebar: I just watched a commercial for the Bayville Scream Park featuring the Temple of Terror. Its a Halloween theme park on Long Island. The Temple of Terror on Long Island? I'll bet there are a few of those during the High Holy Days. Hey!!

Yup, this blog post is going to be a winner. I can feel it.


Bowling Green -9 Miami, OH

The Redhawks of Miami have one win - against Charleston Southern. Not Charleston. Not Southern. Charleston Southern. I'm not sure, but I think its an all-star team of sorts - like the EA Sports teams that play exhibition games before college basketball seasons. Bowling Green beat Pitt. Miami, OH is winless on the road. Bowling Green is winless at home. MAC Football - Catch the Excitement!! I'll take BGU to cover.

Sidebar 2: Evan Longoria just homered off of Dice-K. Seriously, he needs to drill one of these Rays in the ass to get them off the plate. Pedro wouldn't stand for this. Clemens wouldn't stand for this. This is the third homer Matsuzaka has given up tonight. [Note: for the sake of all things right and racially sensitive, I am restraining myself and will not make a WWII comment here. But I thought about it.] Come on, Dice-K - show some F**CKING SACK!!! Yes I'm on Beer 3. Keep it to yourself.

South Florida -24 Syracuse

The Bulls have had 2 weeks to prepare for Syracuse, the 105th ranked defense in the country. How will they deal with such a formidable opponent? QB Matt Grothe could throw left-handed, and I still think South Florida wins by 14. Sorry, B, the Orange are just outmatched. I'm going with the Bulls to cover.

Sidebar 3: Dice-K goes 4 innings and gives up 5 runs. In his first at-bat Varitek struck out with a runner on base, making him 0-11 in the ALCS, and he allowed Iwamura to steal third. Where's Manny when you need him? No, thank you Scott Boras. Enjoy your winter vacationing with Boston's money. I'm officially drunk. On the bright side, there's a "no-Dereks-with-mustache-clause." Bummer. Dude.

Kentucky -9 Arkansas

Neither of these teams stands out to me. Kentucky hung with #2 Alabama for 4 quarters before losing 17-14. The Wildcats are also outscoring opponents by 15+ points this year. On the other side of the coin, Arkansas' QB is named Casey Dick. Sorry, Kentucky, but when the QB of the other team is a Dick, you're not going to to win. I'll take the Razorbacks with the points.

Sidebar 4: Down by 5 runs, the Red Sox bring in the Pride of Hyde Park, MA (and my favorite reliever) Manny Delcarmen and his 22.50 ALCS ERA who promptly walks the first two men he sees. Not even Craig Sager's jacket could ruin this moment for me. And yes, Papelbon is on in the 7th inning. On a 1-0 pitch, he becomes the first pitcher to back B.J. Upton off the plate. Wonderful. This is followed by a successful double steal on Jason Varitek who is sporting Johnny Damon's arm tonight. I know I'm looking forward to three more years of .220 baseball from the Captain. By the way, it is now 7-0 on a 2 RBI double by Upton. Beer number 5, why not?

LSU -3 South Carolina

The Tigers were rolling this season until they ran into the buzz saw that is Florida and lost 51-21. So much for taking Tim Tebow out of the game, huh Frenchie? For South Carolina, Steve Spurrier's Smell(e)y pick is paying off - two straight wins and not just because of their offense. The Gamecocks have the #3 ranked defense in the country, and I really don't think LSU will have enough firepower to win this one on the road. I'm taking South Carolina with the points.

Sidebar 5: A leadoff double for Jed "Mike" Lowrie . . . and Varitek flies out to center. But along comes PAPI!!!! I'm out of beer - time to switch to Tequila! Ole!!

Until next week . . .